Finally! I met my therapist today.
I finally had my first session with my therapist today after waiting two weeks. I spoke about how DH and I have different parenting styles when it comes to SD19 and SD13. It felt so good to have my feelings validated! As soon as I got into the "hedgehog issue" and the toxic trouble that is known as SD19, my therapist was like, "Oh, you need to LAUNCH this Skid. Pronto!" I told him I thought she was BPD. He asked how I would describe her and I said: disrespectful (even to DH), entitled, enabled, juvenile, a BITCH, and all the while she's got DH wrapped around her finger.
My therapist basically said that she needs to be told what is expected of her while she's in our home. That falls on DH who is a huge Disney Dad. The therapist said that we need to set expectations for SD19 when she is home on breaks, and if she doesn't follow through there needs to be consequences. I stated that there have never been consequences for SD19. She's never had her phone, car or laptop taken away while she's here. I told him how toxic and enabled she was, and that even I was always making excuses for her behavior and biting my tongue. I said I couldn't do it anymore. I had walked on eggshells long enough. He said DH and I need to be on the same page. The best part? It was when my therapist said that all I wanted was some common things to be done in the home, as a family unit. I told him it was so frustrating that these SDs have no boundaries. I told my therapist about all of my health issues and how I have always tried to do the right thing for this household. I also said that even if SD19 contributes to the household, things won't get better until she loses the attitude. SD19 is a primadonna, and she has always been a pain in the ass. A Jeckyl and Hyde pain in the ass.
I go for my next session on Saturday. I hope I can make it through the few weeks that SD19 is home, Memorial Day through 4th of July.