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SD was here an hour and a half

Jcksjj's picture

SD showed up. Ran down to her room immediately. DH went down to talk to her for a bit. Then he told her he needed her iPad, because aren't going to allow her to use electronics unsupervised in our home. SD ran into the bathroom with it, locked the door and called her mom. Her mom shows up right as we go downstairs. Her mom tells her to go outside and she starts screaming and bawling that she can't because we're at the door. So I tell her that her mom is outside so she can go out to her car. She runs past us sprints outside and her mom tells her to shut the door as if we're going to come outside after her.

Just f'ing ridiculous.

Comments

SteppedOut's picture

You really should make your husband visit his daughter outside the home, going forward. This chaos that surrounds her is damaging to your home-life. It's ALWAYS some bs. At a certain point, enough. You have certainly reached that point. 

tog redux's picture

Yeah, this is it. No more visits in your home. Your bio kids do not need to be part of this alienation drama. 

Jcksjj's picture

We are absolutely done. I think at this point too seeing her just hurts DH more than not. 

tog redux's picture

Yes. That's the point of no return. And honestly, it's not good for SD, either.  He should just keep the lines of communication open as best he can and see her outside the home if possible. 

Jcksjj's picture

Yeah, as awful as SD is on her own, it's clear her mom put her in a tough position also. Not sure if she insisted on bringing the tablet and BM gave in as long as she keeps it away or if she sent it with on purpose but it should've just stayed home either way when she knows we don't allow it. There's never been a single instance of abuse or a time when we've prevented necessary communication regarding her getting picked up so the acting like something bad is going to happen if she can't have constant contact is ridiculous.

ndc's picture

Good for your husband to exercise some control and try to keep SD safe on the internet. That was the right thing to do, notwithstanding the result.  I agree with prior posters that it is time for him to see SD outside of your home.  The rest of the family doesn't need the drama that accompanies her. 

tog redux's picture

Yes. It's hard to keep being a parent in the face of alienation, but it's 100% the right thing to do.

Survivingstephell's picture

Interesting how BM was there.  Like she set this up and waited for it to play out.  My DH was attacked by his oldest BD and amazingly BM was there practically in an instant.  BM was texting with OSD before DH took her phone away.    I'm skeptical that this wasn't the plan all along.  It was the moment when 2 more became estranged.    Get DH into a male therapist if you can find one.  It's the only thing that got my DH through the process of coming to terms with what had happened.  There's a lot when PAS cumulates to. this level.  

tog redux's picture

Yep. "If your dad takes your iPad, call me and I will come pick you up". Then BM can say, I didn't stop her from going over there, see? It's his fault she doesn't want to go over. She's terrified of him, he's abusive to her" or whatever. 

Jcksjj's picture

Yeah so I looked at our security camera to see what time she picked her up and there's no way she actually went back home unless she was really speeding. Also she didn't even actually pull over to park, she stopped her pretty much in the middle of the road in front of our driveway and jumped out.

tog redux's picture

She probably figures that if DH takes her to court, she will have evidence that she is trying to have SD come over but she is refusing because of DH's alleged actions.  Maybe she plans to go to court herself? This is all very fishy.

Jcksjj's picture

I dont think she realizes that not bringing her over makes her look bad if she were to go to court. 

My best guess is it's a combo of her mental health issues flaring up plus the extreme anger/jealousy because her life hasnt worked out how she wanted. And DHs for the most part has. So she wants to tear him down in the only way she can.

Survivingstephell's picture

She's arrogant.  She thinks that she is untouchable.  It's rooted in a dysfunction temper tantrum over DH's abandonment of her.  At least it was in my BM's  case. 

Jcksjj's picture

Oh the temper tantrum over the "abandonment" for sure.

Idk if she thinks she's untouchable but she definitely thinks she's much more clever than she is.

Jcksjj's picture

Yeah, I should have timed how long it was between when she called and when she got there. Her house isn't that far but she was clearly ready to jump in the car and go.

Jcksjj's picture

She still thinks we're gonna break down and beg and plead to take her little mini monster.

Nope. Never. 

Jcksjj's picture

Yes. Especially now I think because DS3 saw the dramatic bawling and running out to her moms car past us and was clearly trying to process what was going on. He kept saying "(SD) stay in the little car." Which is BMs car. Not 100% what he meant by that but he's clearly noticing and feeling what's going on.