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Last minute invites from MIL and DH.

georgina29's picture

It seems all of the invites I get to family events are last minute to the point of where I am already working so I cannot go if I cannot find a work replacement yet I am being guilted repeatedly into not going.  Why do they not invite me ahead of time enough so I can actually attend? They know I work at a very busy hospital and the scheduling is done in advance for that reason. 

how2step's picture

Don't go. Just say thank you but too late of notice for you to attend. You weren't first choice so do not feel bad. People who want you there will ask you in plenty of time so you can attend. They know your work and it's scheduling.

tog redux's picture

Your DH repeatedly tells you at the last minute, even though he knows that means you likely won't be able to attend? That's suspicious.


hereiam's picture

You don't need us to tell you what is going on, here.

Don't let anybody guilt you about anything, especially something that is out of your control.

disrestep's picture

Most of the invites I've received from skids and busy-body SIL have been last minute. DH and I call them "UNVITES", meaning they are asking me to attend whatever event I don't want to go to anyway, but they know darn well I won't be able to change my schedule last minute, thus I won't go.

what they are hoping for, in our case, is that my DH can attend and I will not. DH is always asked ahead of time and his schedule is a lot more flexible. Prior to being married, I was never invited to their functions unless DH insisted I attend. Since, I am invited to those functions that other inlaws will be at, not usually to skid or gskid events.

hey, it's a good thing, because I didn't want to go anyway. DH can go if he wants and leave me out of the adult-skid drama.



flmomma08's picture

Are the invites coming late from the family, or is DH telling you last minute? If its DH, I would just let MIL know DH is forgetful and to please let me know directly next time. If it is all of them, then screw them. Tell them ONE TIME (if you haven't already) you can't get off work at the last minute and need more notice for events. If it happens again after that, they are just being disrespectful and maybe don't want you there to begin with but want to look like they invited you even though they knew damn well you can't get off work without notice.