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Thoughts on SS’s Odd and very annoying behavior

Bettylou78's picture

Ok last summer TWO days after SS13 turned 13 we went to an Amusement park. DH told him we were going to say he was 12 since it was half off for 12 and under. Well SS FLIP OUT saying that's wrong, that's lying and refused to let DH say that. We were out of state and SS did not know anyone there so that's not the reason. 
 

I work in a hospital and spilled coffee in my car so I grabbed ONE same wash cloth from work to clean it up. SS saw the wash cloth with my hospital name on it and said to me that I'm a thief and I stole it. These are just TWO examples but there is more but think you get the point. 

Number one...WHAT 13 year old boy would EVEN care let alone make such a big deal about it. 
 

Number two and the MOST shocking is SS is the BIGGEST Liar and thief there is! SS has stolen $$ from both DH and I. I have to HIDE ANYTHING I think SS13 would like as he's stolen my phone charger, Crystals, Knickknacks. He stole DH hold watch and blamed his cousin. SS lies about everything from stealing to if he did his homework to if he broke something. 
 

So WHY do you think SS expects DH/me to be completely honest and perfect BUT it's ok for him to steal money/Personal items and lie about almost everything???

 

The_Upgrade's picture

I get it. I was eating for free at the All You Can Eat buffet for years past the cutoff. Whole family was happily in on it. But you and DH should be above reproach. SS is high conflict from the sound of things and he'll hold this above your heads for ages. Not worth the half price savings. Not saying what he said/did is ok. It's just that you should sadly expect this sort of behaviour to continue and protect yourselves in the future. 

Lovemylife's picture

Because he is enjoying calling you out.  He is being toxic and getting a kick out of it.  

tog redux's picture

I personally think it's lying and stealing, too, to claim a kid is younger to get the discount  - but the fact that he steals and lies himself makes it ridiculous for him to call you out on it. Did your DH say something to him about the hypocrisy, I hope?

Bettylou78's picture

DH is either in Denial or does not want to deal with SS13 stealing. So as far as SS thinks DH is clueless about his stealing and lying. Whenever DH questions SS about missing items SS Denies it and gets really defensive if pushed so DH just drops it.

Think what I'm going to do next time SS says something to me about stealing or lying is to make a point about how DH HATES people who lie and steal so I better stop of DH will get rid of me. Lol the little shit is all about being with daddy so let me plant that FEAR in him that daddy will give him the boot Possibly if he ever finds out about SS's stealing and lying.
 

 

jam's picture

You really need to set a good example at all times. To claim ss was 12 to save money IS lying and it IS stealing and simply  wrong. It says something about your character. It may seem small but it really is important to be honest. The savings is not worth giving your character a black eye. I advise you to just be honest. Now as far as your ss ( who steals & lies) making an issue about it is another thing. IMHO I think ss has a fit about it to make it appear he is honest and would not think of lying or stealing. But that is just my opinion for what its worth. 

tog redux's picture

I agree - OP, this cuts both ways. You guys can't call him on stealing and lying when you are modeling stealing and lying for him.

Dogmom1321's picture

About the park... "Okay, you're right. You are not 13 so I guess you have to stay back at the hotel." :) 

About the washcloth... "It's rude to call someone a thief, especially when you jump to conclusions and don't know the facts. I don't appreciate your false assumptions." 

* I had to talk to SD10 about her accussing me of "deleting apps" from her iPad. Basically said the above statement

Rags's picture

This is a smart kid.  He sees you and his father doing things that you both confront him about and he is calling both of you on your bullshit.

I think DH missed a major teaching moment with the amusement park entry situation.  Rather than lie, DH should have sat in the car all day while everyone else went in.  DH should have made it a point to tell SS that he was not going to defraud the amusement park and would forego the fun to do the right thing.

The onus is on the adults to always to the right thing. Particularly when dealing with a kid who tends to lie, cheat and steal.

This kid is just following the example that his father and SM are setting.

IMHO of course.