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Jokes about proposing

georgina29's picture

If you’ve been with a man a certain number of years and he hasn’t proposed but one day he buys you earrings and when you open them he says “what did you think? I was going to propose? Lol” how would you take this?

grace8205's picture

I would have replied: “yes, I was worried that you were going to propose, but what a relief that you got me earrings, that would have been awkward. Thanks hey ar beautiful.”

If it has been years it sounds like he is no interested in getting married and likes to flaunt the fact to you. 

Petronella's picture

I would take it as a sign that I’d just wasted a certain number of years with a jackass. I’d throw the earrings in the trash and tell him to pack his bags and get out. 

Downsouth's picture

jerk move. Is this the only occasion he’s done that? Or has he joked in front of others?

fall before my DH proposed I thought he was taking me to propose because he said get in car I’m taking you to get your bday gift. The direction we headed was right to where we met. A direction we rarely travel. But when we passed it I knew it wasn’t. He took me to store and bought me gun for my bday. Lol  I was glad it wasn’t proposing because I looked like crap. 

susanm's picture

I would probably have to say something like "Of course not.  Our window of opportunity closed long ago.  At this point we are both just hanging out until something better comes along."   What an ass.  I hope you decide what you want to do soon and don't have much jointly owned.  That is not a comfortable position to be in.

Curious Georgetta's picture

a  friend, lover, and companion is looking for a wife or a parenting coach.

If you wish or expect a relationship to lead to marriage you should be very open and clear about that.

A man who has not proposed has been pretty clear about his intentions.

 

 

susanm's picture

Then he doesn't need to be passive-aggressive about it.  There is nothing wrong with having an honest conversation in which he says that he does not intend to marry for whatever reason.  The OP can then decide if she is on board or not and take the appropriate actions.  Hpefully she will not try to "change his mind" because that only works in romantic comedies.  But giving gifts in small boxes and joking about it is not the way to convey his intentions on a serious topic.  That sounds like something a highschool kid would do.

tog redux's picture

I don't get why women wait around for a man to propose. Whether or not you are going to get married should be a discussion, not a hopeful wish. If you want to get married, let him know that and let him know how long you will stick around if he isn't ready to get married.  Or propose to him and get it over with. 

This is 2019, not 1819.  Women don't have to wait and hope for a man to marry them.

Curious Georgetta's picture

predicated on hopes and wishes as opposed to articulated views and expectations is a fantasy land relationship.

Adult women are perfectly capable of expressing their own expectations.  

 

momjeans's picture

I think it’s an asshole move.

It’s insensitive and shows that he takes some sick joy in witnessing your emotional discomfort. It’s a huge crimson flag to *never* marry this person. To only date them.

susanm's picture

She dodged a bullet in that he did not actually propose to keep her around.  She now knows that he not only is not going to but also that he thinks it is funny that he has the "upper hand" in the relationship.  That kind of contempt is deadly to a relationship.

SayNoSkidsChitChat's picture

...hole...

WarMachine13's picture

Nah, he's a whole ass!

OP, he did you a favor. Do yourself a bigger one and kick this jerk to the curb. 

ESMOD's picture

I remember when I was in my late 20's, I had been dating a guy for a little over 3 years.  We weren't living together, but spent just about every day together (after work.. weekends).  I spent holidays with his family and he had also done the same with mine.  He was in my mind "the one". 

So, when he pulls out the little ring sized box at Christmas I was kind of excited.. I mean.. this is IT.. he is going to ask me to marry him.  Shoot, we had even gone and looked at a few houses together... it was like we were headed down that road.  But..womp womp wommmmmp... the box contained a set of small diamond studs.  I quickly had to shift my gears and thank him etc.. but I'm pretty sure that he saw I wasn't super happy.

We were together for maybe another 6 months after that.. but one day he broke up with me.  Said I just didn't seem to really be happy with him.. and he even brought up the earrings and how I didn't seem excited about them and "they cost a lot"..  I thought it was pretty unfair.. that last several months I had been studying for the CPA exam, working and finishing up the last semester of my masters degree.. I was in full study mode and was kind of stressed the whole time.. but since I wasn't excited enough for him.. he broke up with me.

It gutted me to be honest.. the first straw was the gift that should have been a ring.  Then, the fact that he couldn't understand that I might be a bit preocupied with my exam prep (was taking a review class every weekend on top of school).. I felt he didn't give me enough credit for what I was trying to accomplish.

I guess in the end, it led me to where I am today.. but that's probably why I didn't have kids.. because it took another 10plus years before I met someone that was worthy of even wanting to have kids.. and by then it was really too late.

 

notasm3's picture

In my late 20s I seriously dated a man for 4 years. We’d often talked about a future together. One night in bed he asked me if I wanted to marry him. When I said yes he said that he just wanted to know - but that he didn’t want to marry me. 

For some stupid reason I continued the relationship for another 6 months or so. And then one day I thought “I am done!”  And I was. I basically never spoke to him again. 

In about 24 hours I was just thrilled to be rid of him. Didn’t look back at all.  I went on to do so many wonderful things that I would have missed out on if I’d married him.