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Summer plans with Nasty (SO is looking for advice/opinions please)

Anywho78's picture

This summer is shaping up to be WONDERFUL! *heavy sarcasm*

A little history, for those who have not read my blogs…

SO was married to Nasty for 8 years, XSD was 4 when SO married Nasty and started raising XSD as his own (her BD was not in the picture). She is now 16 and living in Germany with her maternal GP’s who Nasty gave full parental rights and custody of XSD (now 16) to.

The GP’s are sending XSD16 to FL to visit Nasty for the month of July. This is also when SO will be driving to FL from TX (AGAIN!) so that Nasty can exercise her (minimum) visitation with the resident Skids, SD8 & SS9. I had not planned on going to FL because my own dad is going to be going through his last cancer treatments (both radiation and chemo) during the time that the FL trip has been planned.

SO was hoping to be able to see XSD16 face to face for the first time since January 2009 and spend time with her…this was promised to him by Nasty when he planned on driving all the way to FL again vs. Nasty having to pay ANYTHING towards transportation (AGAIN).

Nasty has since, complained to her dad, SO’s XFIL (who has custody/parental rights of XSD) about how horrible SO is to her (taking her money (CS) and not letting her claim the Skids on taxes, not being concerned about her happiness, not chatting on the phone with her, among other things – he’s not a man, don’tcha know)…well XFIL and Nasty have hatched a plan. As requested by Nasty, XFIL has laid out some “ground rules” for SO to follow should he be granted permission to see and spend time with XSD, at all.

SO, per said “rules” is not allowed to see or spend time with XSD unless it is “supervised” by XFIL or by Nasty herself. Nasty has decided that she wants to have “FAMILY TIME” :jawdrop: including her, XSD, the Skids & SO…she had included ME into that but now knows that I will not be in FL this year (she had PLENTY to say about that, but that’s for another blog). :sick:

SO now has two options…he can chose NOT to see XSD16 at all, or he can chose to see XSD16 while spending quality “FAMILY TIME” with Nasty &/or XFIL. This is not even taking into consideration the confusion that my resident Skids (SS9 & SD8) will have over the whole “family time” thing.

So…Nasty has decided she wants the Skids for 11 days (WOW…way better than her usual 4-6!!!) and to spend 3-4 of those days as a “family” with SO.

SO is PISSED, he doesn’t want to spend ANY time with Nasty but he wants to see XSD.

He actually asked me to post to see what you wonderful Stalkers have to say bout it…so please, fire away.

**A side note, I have promised NOT to give my opinion to him regarding Nasty and her colossal stupidity/narcissism and have so far, kept my word (MY GOD it is KILLING me!)


Rhyleighblue's picture

How important is it to him to spend 3 - 4 days with XSD? I know that there is a backstory about her being PASd against him. He, no doubt, wants to clear up some of that. This is the primary motivation for the plan to not give him any time alone with her.

1. They won't let him undo the brainwashing that they have worked so hard to do with her
2. They won't give him any time alone to clear his name
3. 4 days with Nasty is likely to make him too uptight to appreciate being with XSD anyway.

I would agree to one day of "Family Time" so that he can see her. I would use that time to give her a lovely card that contained a long letter folded up inside explaining as much as he can about the past. I would tell her that when she is an adult, if she wants more clarification, she is welcome to visit him at HIS house, and at his expense.

Then drop it. Whatever will be, will be.

texstep's picture

Does the court order say who has to pay for transportation?

Because if it is Nasty, or if it is supposed to be split-- use it as a negotiation tool.

If Nasty is going to insist on "Family time" then something might mysteriously come up that makes it impossible for SO to drive to Florida for 11 days; so Nasty can then figure out her own travel arrangements for the kids and SO will be more than happy to deliver them to X airport

If Nasty is willing to let SO and and xSD have lunch and an afternoon together, with ZERO "family time", then SO will still be kind enough to bring the Skids to Florida.

Anywho78's picture

Oh Tex, I LIKE the way you think!

Nasty is, by CO, supposed to pay for ALL transportation. To date, she has purchased exactly half of two round trip flights in 2009...that's it. This will be the second time that SO drives all the way to FL with Nasty paying NOTHING for transportation. SO is insistent on being "fair" to Nasty, wanting a good working relationship with her...he thinks him paying half of the transport is the "right thing to do".

I will certainly pass on your advice to him Wink If I were *allowed* to have an opinion right now, yours would match mine, to a T.

texstep's picture

I just find it absolutely hilarious that she is trying to be in charge of the situation because

1. Nasty doesn't have any control over Xsd. She signed her over to her parents for her
2. She is only seeing the other kids because SO is being NICE and bringing them to her. If he doesn't drive them to Florida, she wouldn't be seeing them at all.

She's trying to be the boss when she holds no leverage over anyone. NONE. SO needs to stop being nice to her; she wants to try and play hard ball, she needs to realize who is REALLY in control of wether or not she sees these kids.

I also don't understand why your SO wants to be all nice and cooperative with her, when she sees the kids a big 5-7 days a year. Out of her possible 90 she COULD see them if she wanted to/saved her money to

Anywho78's picture

"She's trying to be the boss when she holds no leverage over anyone."

Thank you!

Again, my thoughts EXACTLY! The hilarity is not there for me because the skank actually (normally) gets EXACTLY what she wants! She is somehow able to manipulate everything without holding ANY cards.

SO is petrified that she will take him to court, sue for custody and win...the odds of any of that happening are slim to none, but he views it as a real threat, so he generally caves.

Anywho78's picture


He was all hung up about my *dense* comment.

When it comes to Nasty...that's exactly what he is. :?