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Repost: Drama with XSD & Nasty (Part 2) --- SO is looking for advice

Anywho78's picture

I am re-posting this because many of you weren't around over Easter weekend. SO appreciates the feedback from the first posting but is looking for a few more opinions...

*Please read the first blog, "Drama with XSD & Nasty (Part 1)" for the background & history...*

SS9 texted Nasty yesterday asking if they could Skype…so the resident Skids FINALLY got face time with BM after over 2 months of next to nothing aside from empty promises.

When the Skids were done Skyping with Nasty, XSD (almost 16) got online wanting to talk with SO. She was obviously distraught & SO started plying information from her as to why she was so upset. She was crying…a lot. Her issue was that she felt she never had a “real family” & she is “crushed because she isn’t being raised with her own siblings & mother”…SO told her that he understands & is sorry that she is hurting…told her again that he missed her & wished that the Skids & her could spend more time together. He reminded her that they were a family for 8 years…however, XSD cut him off saying “No, it didn’t ever feel like a real family”. She got offline shortly after that statement which left SO with a very hideous taste in his mouth…

This morning, SO gets a text from Nasty saying “I know you talked to XSD for a bit last night, but I would like to share with you a bit more of what is going on.”…

Nasty told SO that XSD hates him & does not want to see him this summer because…
-SO abandoned XSD in VA & clearly doesn’t truly care about her
-It’s SO’s fault that Nasty got involved with (A LOT) of bad guys (WHORE)…you know, because HE quit paying HER bills
-SO is a crappy father (even though he has full custody of SS9 & SD8)
-It’s SO’s fault that XSD is forced to live in Germany with GP’s…even though Nasty refused to let SO take care of her & instead gave XSD to the GP’s without SO even knowing about it.
-It’s SO’s fault that SO hasn’t seen her since 2009 (even though GP’s refused to let him…even threatened to call the police)
-It’s SO’s fault that Nasty was unhappy in their marriage because God forbid, he was injured in the line of duty & that was why Nasty was so bitterly unhappy.
-It is also SO’s fault that he did not want to share a home with Nasty after their divorce, Nasty’s dream was that SO would care for the home & Skids while she whored around. He instead opted to move to TX so that he had a support network to help him with the Skids (they are HIGH maintenance children, BTW).
-Last but not least, SO isn’t working & THAT is why Nasty has to pay CS (He’s going to school, which the VA is paying for & he’s medically retired, so he gets plenty of money…BTW) so she’s too broke to live.

He asked that I post a blog here seeking your advice.

He wants let XSD her know in detail what Nasty said…see if Nasty was telling the truth about how XSD feels & if that is indeed the case, clarify what ACTUALLY transpired & why things ended up the way they are today. XSD is going to be 16 in May.

What are your thoughts on how he should proceed?


Jsmom's picture

I think he needs to sit down and write a letter giving her all the history. SHe is plenty old enough to handle it. When we started pointing out things that were incorrect that BM said to SS13, he started to see her clearly and asked to live with us.

You don't have to be mean or harsh, just truthful. No PAS on his part, just the facts. She may never come back to him or see it from his perspective, but at least he tried. That is all you can expect a DAD to do. BM should no longer be protected from herself.

Tell the truth....

bjc26's picture

Make sure to keep copies of letters just in case they try to come back on you with bogus allegations.

Anywho78's picture

Oh Ripley, "Maybe not today, but someday you may be in a place to come and visit me on your own. Even if it's been years, my door is always open. I will wait to see you again for the rest of my life." This is beautiful.

Sadly, she will never live with him as a minor because her GP's have full parental rights. I would personally prefer that she NOT move in once she's of age simply because I can see a "guilty daddy/Tatum" situation rearing it's ugly head...but the suggestion of her visiting of course is always an option once she is no longer controlled by her GP's (namely, grandfather).