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Funny chat with SD9 about "growing up"

Anywho78's picture

FDH awhile ago asked me to have "the talk" with SD9 about what will be happening with her body…he’s apparently squeamish about the whole topic & begged me to “just take care of it.”

So…me, being the dog person that I am have no idea of how to broach this topic with a kid who only responds to me with monosyllables when I try to talk to her. What do I do you ask? Well, I went to the book store & picked up a classy little book that discusses everything from bras to skin care to hair care to eating disorders…all wrapped up in a pink & white, easy to read & understand book. I had spoken with her about some hygiene issues that she was having & made mention of the fact that she’s going to be becoming a young woman soon & that she needed to stay clean or she would end up being a stinky at least I gave myself an opening.

I called SD in & told her “Here SD, this book is for you. Do you remember that we talked a little bit about growing up? Well, I got this book for you & it explains ALL ABOUT IT!” SD of course got very excited. I told her to let me know if she had any questions. This was a week ago.

Last night, she comes in & says
SD9: So…you already have the face & hair stuff covered but the book said that I should start carrying pads to school just in case…so…yeah…
Me: Okay…I’ll work on getting a little bag for you with things you would need if you did start. If I do that though there will be ZERO pulling it out & playing with it though & no letting other kids touch it (EW!!)
SD9: Right…my friends will be jealous though!
Me: Private stuff SD, private stuff…
SD9: Okay…another question…when do I get my first bra? I’m really excited about doing that!
Me: You don’t need one yet SD but we’ll make sure you’re all set when the time comes. Until then, you have your undershirts to wear.
SD9: Okay good…& shaving my legs…when will you be teaching me how to do that????
Me: (trying not to laugh) Well SD, didn’t the book say that normally you wouldn’t need to shave until AFTER you start your period which normally happens AFTER you need a bra?
SD: Oh…I suppose so. One more question that we need to talk about…what is a geriotologrist? I’m supposed to see one now…you know, for my lady bits? (she said this with a look of both concern & horror on her face)
Me: Ah…a GYNECOLOGIST is indeed a lady doctor. They just look down there to make sure everything is okay. It’s not a bad thing…the doctors make sure that your lady bits are healthy. You won’t be seeing one of those (hopefully) until you’re much older.

During this whole fiasco, FDH's face is one of utter shock & horror. LMAO!

Ah the joys of being a SM to resident SKids :?


smdh's picture

Dear sweet baby Jesus I hope SD gets this information from her mother - and hope that it is accurate and complete. And that her little friend shows up on her mother's custodial time.

Good for you though!

Anywho78's picture

LOL, right SMDH? Sadly, her mother has a history of not speaking to the SKids for MONTHS. They live with us & well...yeah. If I waited for Nasty to do her job, the kid would grow up without a clue.

I'm still laughing at how FDH handled the whole mess though. Gotta say though...I love the book!

Anywho78's picture

SS10 is now in 5th & they haven't done zip at school. He's getting his book next but FDH will be handling THAT one!

I guess it depends on which school district you're in. We're in a small district in Boondockville, Texas so they probably wait until a few years later? I don't know.

I tried to pawn the task off on MIL but she'd have none of it. Lol

whatwasithinkin's picture

BM to SD here hates me I mean hates..

SD16 and SD13 left when they were 12 and 9. SD15 returned home to us she was 15 and 9 months when we got her back and she still didnt have her period. She came back in the month of August, went back to her Mom for Christmas and came back to us, and with in the first week of Jan she got it.

BM was pissed because she missed her DD's first period.

So SD13 still lives with BM 500 miles away. I said to DH. "watch SD13 is going to come for visitation in the summer, want to bet she gets her period while she is here?"

Yep she did a week before she left to go back home.

This was my fault I control menstrual cycles...Im mother f'ing nature

Anywho78's picture

Oh...if only Mother Nature's first visit would happen on Nasty's time...but I doubt it since the woman sees the SKids once a year & their visits have ranged from 4.5 days to 2 weeks so yeah...but I can hope, right?

Shame on you Whatwasithinkin! You should know better than to have your SD's visit from "Aunt Flo" at your house! It's like they think that WE SM's want this "exciting" :sick: experience with the SKids. Ummm...nope, I'd pass if I could!

misSTEP's picture

I almost wished I would have been able to teach my SD about the "birds and bees" instead of her learning it from BM. Maybe then she wouldn't have had her first baby at age 16.....just like BM.

Anywho78's picture

Well, FDH & I are certainly hoping! She already has her sights on getting married AFTER college & having babies (3 of them???) after college, so...hopefully she sticks to this track...but again, she's only 9 Wink

StarStuff's picture

Don't know what OP got, but I got my SD9 the American Girl book called "The Care and Keeping of You". It covers all the info OP mentioned and is a great conversation starter. SD loves it.

Anywho78's picture

Hey, name of the book is "The Girl's Body Book - Top Secret! For Girls Only!" by Kelli Dunham, R.N.

I looked at the above book & the American Girl's book as mentioned by another poster. I decided on "The Girl's Body Book" because the American Girl's edition had pictures that I did not think was necessary for this stage of the game, so to speak.

For SS, we got "Boy's Guide to Becoming a Teen" by the American Medical Association. We picked it up today & will be giving it to him later...Lord knows what questions he'll come up with!

StarStuff's picture

Lol. I've had such talks with my SD9 - just got her a couple of starter bras since she's just starting to develop and feels a little self-conscious. They're more of a tank-top style than an actual bra style though. I also got SD the American Girl book called "The Care and Keeping of You"; it's billed as "the body book for girls" and covers all the info that OP mentioned.

SD can't wait to experience all the "growing up" milestones. I've told her she needs to enjoy being a kid for now b/c some of these milestones are really a pain in the rear. We've talked about shaving, periods, age-appropriate howe babies are made, etc convos. I'm not squeamish about any of this stuff and definately want SD to be educated by FDH and I so that she doesn't get any weird, totally wrong info from her peers. She's also not scared to ask about anything, which makes it easy for me!

Anywho78's picture

SD9 seems to be the same way...she's very excited about everything now. She's been pestering me about makeup but with all of this new info, she's really going to town!

She does seem to be quite open with her questions which I suppose I should be grateful for Smile hopefully she stays that way!

Shaman29's picture

Yeah....that's a difficult conversation. You're more fortunate in the fact the BM is out of the picture. Some BM's get a bug up their ass about not being there for the "firsts". As if anyone has any control over the the timing.

My own mother passed the firsts off to my older sister, who told me about bras, periods, boys, pregnancy, drugs and alcohol. Mom didn't tell me anything.

DH's kid got her first period on Father's day 2006.....she was 10.

I thought DH (then just BF) was going to pass out.

I suggested he call Uberskank to clarify what she told their kid and find out what she wanted their kid to use (pads, etc). Then I offered to go with them to the drugstore to help pick out the correct items.

After DH and his kid talked, he had her call Uberskank and he discovered that she had started on Thursday, not on Sunday. Why didn't she tell Uberskank when she was with her on Thursday???

Anywho78's picture

Honestly, I'd prefer that Nasty participated somewhat in the raising of her own children other than harrassing phone calls to FDH but ah well. I guess in this case, I can be grateful for her not having a conniption over this whole thing.

How horrible that Uberskank did that to your SD (& you & your DH)! It's bad enough having a "first start" once but TWICE? What a witch!