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The joys of summer (a little long)

Anywho78's picture

Please see & for history & explanations for the current fiasco.

I ended up not going to FL with SO because I did not want to be anywhere near Nasty. I didn’t want to see the Skids confusion (& subsequent heinous behavior) over seeing mommy & daddy spending time together, I didn’t want to have to bite my tongue all day because Nasty is full of crap (constant lies), I didn’t want to hear XSD16 blathering on about how PERFECT her mommy dearest is. I just wasn’t in the mood & don’t think I will ever be in a place where that type of a day would sound enticing to me.

SO & the Skids left this last Sunday & spent Monday afternoon & Tuesday as a big happy family with Nasty & XSD16. Nasty was *kind* enough to allow SO to take XSD16 on his own for a few hours so he was happy with that. Apparently, SO & Nasty were able to talk & communicate without her screaming at him, so he was happy about that too.

SO is now CONVINCED that Nasty has changed. She is human now because for TWO days, she was able to restrain herself & keep her stupidity & narcissism in check. He told me over the phone that he was hoping that this meant that things would change & get better between them. :sick: I had to hold back my laughter. I told SO that I was SOOOOOOOOOOOOO happy that they were able to talk without her emasculating him & that I was ecstatic over the fact that as she’s changed, I would NEVER again have to hear about how he isn’t a man because he “takes her money” (CS) or how he’s a heartless b*st*ard for not caring about her life, money & happiness. I also told him that I expected that she would never again threaten to sue for custody over money or tax returns again. He said “If you’re trying to hide your sarcasm, it isn’t working!” to which I responded…”Oh, sorry babe, were you being serious???” Subject got changed & there you have it.

Nasty has the SKids until the 20th, on her own. She also has her BF’s daughter with her for every day of their time with her (she's babysitting for BF while he works)…she’s dated this guy for 4 months now & this is the first time she’s met this child (we’ll call her Lily)…she’s 10 years old & taking full advantage of the new “SM figure” trying to impress her dad. She apparently lives here in TX & visits her BD for 3 weeks per summer.

Since the lovely conversation with SO, I have found that Nasty has again let the Skids down regarding the following (all the while, SO maintains how much she’s changed)

Disney - she told them they’d go to Magic Kingdom (their favorite Disney park) & she’s chosen EPCOT instead because she took Lily & XSD16 to Magic Kingdom on the 4th of July…can’t go to the same place again, don’tcha know. Poor Lily!

Legoland – After promising SS9 Legoland, she told him that it was for babies & that she’d take him to the Lego store instead. When he mentioned the Lego store, she rolled her damn eyes at him.

Her time – She is so desperate to have Lily like her that she is letting her get away with bossing the Skids around & treating them like crap (playing the boss). Lily rudely told Nasty that she didn’t like SS & that he was weird (he is high functioning PDD & has ticks)…Nasty responded with…wait for it…”Yeah…he’s a weirdo!” IN FRONT OF SS!

SD8 texted me today asking me to Skype with her this evening…SS9 called me in tears because *they* (I'm guessing that it's SD8 & Lily) were being mean to him & his own mother did nothing to stop it. I got SD on the phone & told her she's not allowed to be ugly to her brother & she said "I told Lily to stop & I told on her too...mommy said that Lily is a visitor..." Yes, that's it. Apparently, Lily can be a bully to SS & SD because she's a VISITOR...what are SD & SS? Their visit is shorter than Lilys!

Yes…the Skids are SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO lucky that their BM has changed, aren’t they?

Oh the joys!


stepmomto3bioto1's picture

Seriously sitting here, shaking my head at your DH!! Why do these men always wanna portray these BMs as "shes changed"?? My DH is just as guilty!! Its like they see just one ounce of goodness out of them, and then all of a sudden we get to hear how they think "shes changed"?!? Its. So. Pathetic!!!

They need to accept that their exes will Never change & stop holding out all this bs hope!! Smdh. I dont get it!!

cant win for losin's picture


i was thinking the EXACT same thing. I have little patience for these naive men who feel these bm, sk, or in-laws have "changed" just because there was no drama for a week, a day or an hour. SMH and insert a huge eye roll

bi's picture

i made the mistake of thinking sd19 had changed, at least a little. she went about a year without causing any shit for me. i guess that was just because she wasnt' asking for anything and hearing the word "no". now that she wants something from me and i won't do it, she's right back to her old bitch self. so i think i have her figured out now. as long as she isn't in want of anything from me, she's ok. as soon as she wants something that she has no right to expect from me and therefore does not get it, she'll be a C again.

Delilah's picture

Anywho - the reason your BM was quiet for a change (while your SO was visiting) was because she got EVERYTHING she wanted, so for two seconds she behaved as all her pieces in her chest set were aligned in the position SHE wanted.

The fact your SO doesn't realise that is a bit gulliable if you ask me. There we are then, FAR more important that she played nice for (OMFG) TWO days, than the fact she is NOW being a henious, neglectful, bullying bitch to the skids.

Urgh, I would be less than thrilled having to:

1) hear the same old shit from my OH about his insane ex
2) see the same ole games being played out
3) Watching my OH give in to his ex because he was too pansy arsed scared to tell her to "eat crap"
4) That he expects the above to change and then at times pretends it has, all because he is all glowing with happiness from their (vomit) "family" time.

Sorry but your OH needs to get a grip on reality and stop living in Disney.

Show him this article...

"To limit the terrorist's feelings of omnipotence, there are many effective measures. The guiding principle, as in the handling of political terrorists, must be: "There is no negotiating with terrorists." Endless telephone calls, conversations, confrontation, trial "get-back-togethers," correspondence, visitations, gestures of appeasement, and efforts to placate the terrorist's demands, all serve to reinforce the terrorist's belief that she is accomplishing something. Only determined resolution in the face of terrorism shows the terrorist that her power is limited."

Your OH needs to emotionally distance himself from this woman, detach himself from caring and realise that actually he is a victim of her terrorism (you and skids included) and that you DON'T feed the monster even from fear, as all thats doing is helping her now terrorise the skids! Emotional abuse is just as damaging as physical abuse, your OH's fear should NOT trumpt the importance of protecting the skids and you by facing his fears through action. The first step is actually realising what you are doing, and proactively doing something about that to resolve it. Perhaps your OH would consider therapy to understand over come these fears. Right now, he isnt being mentally strong enough imo!

Give him the above article and see what he says!

Anywho78's picture

Thank you for the link Delilah! I will show this to SO when he returns from FL. It is a very interesting read, for sure & much of it does sound eerily familiar.

I agree on your reasoning for why she was quiet. Although according to SO, she was pleading poverty over licensing her car in FL (she moved there TWO years ago)...I looked it up & yeah...she's lying. She also plead poverty a number of times on different occasions (expecting SO to pay for Lily & her, along with XSD & Skids to eat out) he claims he didn't cave...we'll see when the CC statements come in.

I see no change, I really don't. Maybe I need wine goggles...will things look more rosy that way?

I am certainly less than thrilled with the situation because your points 1-3 are life. Anytime Nasty decides she wants/needs something, all hell erupts & the same thing happens, over and over and over again. Always the same issue (her paying CS, her having no money, her being upset), always the same threat, SO always caves. Your 4th point...while he thinks she's changed he (luckily for him!) did not act like he enjoyed having to spend time with her...if he had, then we'd have REAL issues. That's not a game I'm going to play. He actually said "You know, I had to ask myself what the f*ck I ever saw in her, ya know?" So yeah...his ass would be GONE if I thought he enjoyed their family time together.

I can only put up with so much. Now I get to look forward to getting SD8 back in full NPD mode & SS9 will be in such a state mentally that it will (again) take MONTHS to get him back on par...AND he starts 5th grade next month so...YAY me!

Anywho78's picture

Bi - I would die of happiness if I had a whole year of quiet from Nasty!

But seriously, it sucks when they're such brats that they expect the world to bow at their nasty skanky feet & that everyone should give them whatever they want.