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Disengaged Last Night And It was Great

Unhappy's picture

Have any of you ever just wanted A.) give your DH the finger, B.) tell an entitiled little brat off, or C.) throw your hands up and just walk away?

My BF and I had a huge fight last night over a hand held game the his son(3) got for Christmas. I know. Sounds pretty stupid. Here's how it went down. I get off work and pick up my BD(6) and go home. We walk in and she sees his daughter(6) playing with the game, which I'm sure she had been for a while. My BD asks my BF if she can use it and he tells her no that his daughter is using it. So when my daughter gets upset he basically tells her that she never shares and now she knows what it's like. Rant coming (excuse me. This coming form a guy whose son screamed at me on New Years weekend because his sister was using it and he wanted it. I was just trying to explain to him that she had it first and we share and that I would make sure he got it back soon enough. And thats not forget about his daughter who thinks sharing means give it to me and is constantly telling my BD that all the toys that I bought for my BD are hers. I always make my daughter share and he forces her to do it as well) end rant. Had my daughter had the little game she would have only been able to play with it for x amount of time and then it would have been handed over to one of his kids. Not to mentiont that this morning when we were getting ready to leave his son(3) came down the hallway with one of BD's Christmas toys rubbing it in her face that he had it and when she asked me if she could play his game infornt of him I said sure because he had one of her toys, so what does he do? Shoves the toy into her arms and then grabs them game.

I think that BF he handled the situation last night horribly. So I told my daughter infront of him that I would buy her one this weekend so that there wouldn't be any issues over that stupid game. Oh, he got pissed. He went off about how we had a set limit on the dollar amount that we would spend on them for Christmas. You want to know what I did at that point. I disengaged. And I've got to tell you all, for the first time in months I felt like I could actually breath again. It was wonderful. You want to know why? Because it didn't matter. So I poured myself a glass of wine and sat down on the couch to watch some TV. My BF is on his lap top doing something so I asked him about what he was doing and you want to know what his reply was? "We agreed on a specific dollar amount for all the kids for Christmas and you're just going to go and buy your daughter more. You wouldn't even let me get all the stuff that I wanted to for my kids so I'm at toys r us.

Okay, last time a checked yesterday wasn't Christmas and he wanted to by his 3 year old son a flat screen TV which costs more than we were planning on spending on either of the girls. And of course his precious little son couldn't just get one big gift, we needed to by him more. Not to mention that he went shopping at the after Christmas sales for his kids because we didn't have them that weekend and they both got twice the amount of toys for the same amount of money. Oh and the most important. He had to put it on his credit card. We're supposed to be paying down the debt so that we can get married. Whatever.

So I went into our bed room and put on a movie. After a little bit his childish behavior was irratating me so I sent him a bunch of texts basically telling him that after everything that I have put up with, crazy ex wife and out of control kids, that I was getting to my breaking point. So he send me a reply back, "Why are you still here then?" That's a good question. I told him I would be gone by Feb.

I am sick of watching his mean, aggressive, control freak of a daughter mess with my daughter. And I'm worried about how it's going to effect her in the long run to have somebody dominate you on a daily basis. I have brought this issue up as a concern only to have the your over reacting card thrown in my face yet again.

I just don't know what to do anymore. But the disegaging thing was great. I did it again this morning when his son picked up his bowl full of cereal and proceeded to drink milk right out of the bowl when he has already been told not to do that at the table. I was hoping he dumped it down the front of himself so that his father could clean it up. Which will eventually happen. But what the heck. Not my problem.


stepgin's picture

I've actually wanted to do a, b, AND c. Smile Disengaging is great but it sounds like you and DH need to sit down and as calmly as possible, have a serious discussion about this. Maybe that will help.

Eyes Wide Open's picture

GOOD for you! This might be a good time to get out of your situation. There are other fish in the sea, you know. You don't need his crap. And, it sounds like both him and his kids are bullies. Pack your stuff and get out. Start over. If you're not happy now, think about how miserable you're going to be in a few years!