Too much from future aunt?
So this isn’t fully step related other than the children involved are my future step kids but I want to sort of get this out there and maybe anyone else has experienced this or has any advice. I CAN NOT share on Facebook in any groups since my sister is in almost all of them.
SO and I have finished getting Christmas. We talked before getting anything. We made a budget and decided together about what to get the kids. Oldest asked for some pretty high cost items which we shot down between ourselves. Except then one of them was on sale and we were able to get it well below its normal cost. We were thrilled. We got the big one for her YEAH. In fact both kids are getting the big toy they originally asked for.
Well of course later while walking through Toysrus the girl’s main focus is another very popular toy. We did our best to explain to her that if we were to get her that one item there wouldn’t be anything else. Of course this started the waterworks for a moment because she just couldn’t understand why she couldn’t have everything. We’ve seen pictures of what BM gets them for holidays and we REFUSE to get caught up in that game. Plus we'd already finished Christmas shopping.
Still I did want to try to get this one other item. I asked around and did research and I just couldn’t justify spending that amount of money on it. Most parents agreed it wasn’t worth the cost. The children would play with it for a short time then just set it aside. SO and I decided it was not worth the extra cost and though we didn’t talk to BM there is a HIGH chance she will get the kid the toy anyways.
Before all this I had talked with my sister and given her ideas on what to get the kids IF she wanted to get them anything. Then out of nowhere she decides she’s getting future step daughter the toy. She’s coming from a good place and unlike when she wanted to get the kids tablets SO and I really don’t have anything against the kid having the toy. We just don’t think it’s worth the cost but who am I to tell my sister she's not allowed to spend her money as she likes and she is getting the youngest something of equal worth so she's not doing anything wrong as we see it.
While I’m thankful I’m put in a spot AGAIN where my sister is going overboard and I don’t know how to handle this other than smile and say thank you.
On top of it since we don’t have the kids Christmas Eve so my sister will not be able to give the child the toy herself as I would like her to since she's the one buying it. She’s said to tell the kid it’s from Santa. I do not want to do that. Santa brings small gifts and candy for the stockings in our home. Plus as I said there's a good chance 'Santa' may already give it to the kid at BM's house. No the kid’s will know what came from who. I’m just sort of worried that this may be setting up a precedent that we have no desire to follow through with. This one gift alone is almost 2/3 of everything we got for the kids even though it’s one thing. I don’t want them to think that they will get that high dollar item they want every year and I don’t know how to explain to them nor should I yet that my sister is very foolish with money and while she had it this year next year they may not get anything the next year. I don't want them to start thinking my sister is this magical person who will get them everything they want.
I also know there is an emotional reason my sister is getting this exact toy. It’s very similar to something she and I both wanted as a children but our parents couldn’t afford which I why I looked at it for so long before deciding no.
My sister is great but does go overboard really easy. It would be nice but she wants to always buy clothes and dvd's and we just don't have the space for everything. I think it's all bottling up into this in a way.