I am sorry this is soo long but I feel I need to explain asome background and some issues that relate to my issues. Some background: I married my husband when his daughter was 4 (we had been together a year before we married) so I have been a part of my SD life since she was three. Now she is 11 and my husband and I also have a 5 year old BS. My SD mother is not really in the picture. She signed over full custody to my husband a few years ago when we discovered all that was happening in her life. Even before that my SD was with us 75% of the time.