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SteppingUp's Blog

Where is the "line" that keeps you a STEP parent and not a PARENT?

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I was thinking this morning about how every step parent has an imaginary line that they cannot cross because they are, indeed, a STEP parent and not THE parent.

Where is your line? And who keeps you at that line? Is it you making a boundary, your SO, the children (
"you're not my mom!"), etc?

F-Stick?

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DF said "Dammit" last night when he dropped something, which led into a conversation with SD5 about swearing. She knows it is a swear word, and she timidly said, "Mommy and Grandma say REALLY bad words." Of course this led DF to ask for more specifics. It took a while because SD5 didn't want to actually say the words since she knows it's wrong for her to do so, but we finally deduced that BM and her mother often refer to each other in person as F***-Sticks. We later decided to see what the status of BM's job promotion was, as she was bound to post it on Facebook.

BM, the effective teacher.

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We've noticed that SS2 and SD5 never seem to learn anything of value from BM. For example, we work on letters and sounds with SD5, and counting and the ABC's with SS2. When asking SD5 if she ever works on her letters or sounds with anyone else, she claims they never do and that we only do them at my house. However, SD5 knows all the words to songs like "Gives You Hell" and anything Lady Gaga ("let's have some fun this beat is sick, I wanna take a ride on your disco stick...").

SS and SD's bank accounts drained by BM.

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DF still gets the bank statements for SS and SD's bank accounts. They set up an account for each of them when they were born, and DF's parents and grandparents put money in the accounts on their birthdays. Otherwise, the money just sits there. DF isn't sure how much total there was as SD just had a birthday...he remembers there being at least $500 in each account.

Have a hard time feeling bad for BM!

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BM got the flu/virus that SS2 had last week. She wouldn't take the day off (PAID TIME OFF) to take care of her child when HE was sick on Friday, but karma came back around and bit her ass and she got it, ending up needing to take a day off anyway! (You can read the dramatics of the situation with SS2 last week in my last blogs, if you wish!)

PLUS the day she got the flu happened to be THE day of her big promotion interview. So she had to reschedule it, of course... poor, poor BM.

(Update to my blog from yesterday) BM told DF to "f off"

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because he asked her why she didn't tell day care that SS2 was vomiting. I saw the text and it specifically said:

DF to BM: You should have let day care know that SS2 was sick. Poor kid felt bad because he threw up all over a bunch of toys.

BM to DF: Why the hell would he feel bad? And you can go f off!

Thank goodness for a great guy!

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We didn't have the skids all weekend, but had them last night - the first time since Mother's Day. We always ask the skids how their weekend was and they tell us all the things they did. Of course, SD5 tells us all about Mother's Day, which I expected to hear all about. I heard all about how Grandma (BM's mom) took them to the flower store and they bought all kinds of flowers for BM, etc, etc. We listened quietly and gave our polite "uh-huh's".

And Facebook is the truth-revealer again!

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At first I thought that when we discovered that BM's Facebook settings weren't private that we'd have a hard time finding solid evidence against her on it...but boy were we wrong! On a weekly basis we have been catching her lies, finding evidence of her constant use of babysitters on her nights with the kids, and inappropriate behavior.

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