Is BM a mind-reader??
It seems like whenever my SO and I make plans or have something to do, BM suddenly needs to drop-off SS and we cannot say 'no'. I understand that it could simply be a coincidence, but this seems to happen more and more. SO and I have not had the chance to spend quality time together recently (we've been swamped with work, birthday parties for our friends children, etc.). SS came to visit last weekend, and this weekend was going to be our time alone. We even had tickets to see a baseball game...we were excited to be able to take a load off and to relax. Then, BM texted last night that she was dropping off SS, tonight. No explanation given.
Please do not get me wrong. I love when SS is around. Even though he is a handful, and his visits tend to be stressful since he misbehaves most of the time...it is still great to see him. But it takes a toll when our plans get interrupted a lot. We never tell her when we have plans either...but she somehow only willingly brings SS around during the times that we do. We don't mention our plans to SS either, so she isn't using him to spy (that we know of). I understand that she has primary custody of him and often needs a break herself - but since he was with us last weekend and will be with us next weekend (lets not forget that he'll be there for the entire week of July 4th and basically every weekend in July), this weekend was going to be for SO and I.
It's even more frustrating when she drops him off unannounced for long periods of time, just for us to see pictures of her on social media going from club-to-club, partying. There was even a time that she dropped him off 3 hours early than what was discussed, and then proceeded to get angry and SO because he was not home at that time. She also did that when she dropped off SS at 5am one weekend, and sent SS to knock on the door (he knocks very softly, and we sleep upstairs)...she then sent SO several angry messages about how she was late for work due to him not answering the door and how he has it so much easier because he gets to pick when he wants to be a dad...keep in mind she never got out of the car to knock, and didn't try calling. I am exhausted, and we were looking forward to spending a quiet weekend together, doing something for us. I know some of you will be wondering, 'why don't you just tell her you can't watch him?'. Well, that is not an acceptable answer to her. If we say that we cannot watch him, then come the threats of, "You will never see him again", "I need a break too", "I can't do this on my own"...and those are censored. She calls us every name you can think of. For anyone that has not read any of my previous posts, BM is now living with her SO - and SS is even calling him dad now. So she is not completely doing this alone. My SO has even offered to make an arrangement with her that would allow him to see his son every other weekend or what she would prefer...that way she can get a break and he can spend time with their son. But she never let's that happen.
Does anyone else get the sense that the BM is a mind-reader, and always 'coincidentally' needs you to watch your skid(s) when you have plans? I feel like I am going crazy and I may very well be making mountains out of molehills, but I needed this off of my chest.