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RoundIGo's Blog

Update: So I left

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On January 4th, the day his kids were coming for "winter break," even though his daughter dropped out of community College... I left to my mom's. Then the storms hit California bad, and we were texting here and there, we split our finances and I walked away with half, which would allow me to move forward properly. Thousands in the bank, at mom's,  very satisfied and semi relieved to be out of steplife. It was an up and down rollercoaster, dh works from home and we've almost quite literally been together every day for 9 years. Some was not easy.

You all would be so proud!!

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So I finally had enough! And I told DH I want to talk exit strategy. Well, it's time, we don't have a home together, but we have a good sized savings and stocks. I negotiated for half of everything we have up to date and half of what the stocks are worth and what he can't pay now, he owes me and from here on forward, after bills, it's divided into our separate accounts up until I move. This ensures I have what I need to find a comfortable arrangement. I told him I will stay at my mom's when his crotch droppings are present but I will not be pushed out.

I did it!

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I refused to go in the same circular arguments about why I shouldn't be feeling the way I do. Everyone in this situation hates me anyways, I am moving out. I feel relieved because steplife has been a living hell and I deserve happiness. I would rather live in my car at this point, then to subject myself to this mess... one I didn't create. I am not going in anger, or despair, but it is time. I am done. Thanks steptalk for all the support... would be blaming myself right now if it were not for this site.

My Christmas eve. Need some truth.

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So for the last few weeks, I have been beside myself gathering things for hosting Dh's family for Christmas eve. Not only did we need to invest in a larger table, but as most of you know... it's everything from table runners, decorations, appetizers, food, presents, etc etc. So yesterday they call to say they are coming an hour earlier then expected. Fine. Dh MUST tell SS and SD, who then decide to show up even earlier then them. Fine. So as a good host, I attend to cleaning, serving, cooking, plating and on and on. DH is having a swell time entertaining. Fine.

Boundaries

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Ss17 came into our room while we were sleeping to tell DH ( I was excluded from convo) BM needed an advance in childsupport for her dogs vet bill. And DH went ahead paid and went back to sleep. I pretty much know why he did it, but it boils my blood that this woman stonewalls us and then sends a child to do her job in asking... they are court ordered to speak through an app and she doesn't respond. I pretty much just feel like it is not our friggen problem that BM can't afford one of the three dogs that she has. People who should not own animals...

Does this even sound right?

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So two days ago SD18 texts that SS16 needs dress attire for their uncle on BM's side wedding the NEXT day. DH and I get into an argument because I don't feel that it was our responsibility to foot the bill for a whole new suit basically because BM cannot afford it (she is not working currently) and then making it our problem last minute so we couldn't say no. So DH and I argue about it... he goes and gets outfit with shoes for ss16 at around 200 dollars. I was sleeping in the extra(skids EOW room) because I just can't take the battle anymore. THEN SD18 calls.

Should I leave?

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SD18 is still coming over for visits with Ss16 EOW. I was previously disillusioned that at 18 things would change with SD and minus CS... nothing has. Over the course of my 8 year relationship with DH, MY attitude about his children has gotten worse, not just because of who they are, but also for what they represent. I acknowledge my feelings, accept them and take responsibility for them,  just haven't been able to change them. So I talk to my family etc and first response is, I should leave my house EOW and go... somwhere.

Good News Update... kinda.

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I was worried in my previous posts that SD18 wouldn't be getting her stuff together, but she kinda is. She got a job! At starbucks down the street. (BOO!) However, overall this will be a good thing. I have been trying to change my perception of her, but I have come to realize that the depression I feel when they(SD18 and SS16) are here and when they leave, when basically anything about them arises, might be more tied to my bitterness that another woman has my husband's children. I know I shouldn't feel this way, but I do.

Sd18

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Her only plan is to start community College next month. She has twice made it known that she'll be here with her brother Ss16 to visit in two weeks. I am so upset,  like it makes me sick to think about, that SD basically gets to decide when child visitation stops or doesn't. So she's coming in two weeks,  she has no job, been visiting family all summer and went on a camping trip with her friends but is still asking we pay for her medication. Should her money be saved for her entertaining while we pay her important bills?!? This seems contrary to what the lesson being learned should be...

Am I twisted?

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My SD18 wears the sluttiest clothes, nothing fits, it is always too small she is showing private areas at moments when laying on the couch, her chest is past a DD. My question to you is, should a father address this with his daughter in order to have her show propriety even when at home? Or is it just her home and it's all good who she goes flashing, even if it's just her brother and her father there? I'm not just harping on "in home" wear... she fully dresses this way on the outside!!  like she's wearing a bikini top as a top top? Am I just prudish? Should this not even bother me?

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