You are here

quippers01's Blog

Time to call it quits?

quippers01's picture

I haven't been on for a while but I think I havwe come to a crossroads. DH and I have avoided the SD6 topic for a while but it recently resurfaced and things are no better now than they were a year ago. If anything it's gotten worse. I stopped expecting myself to find a way to love or even like this kid and concentrated on just being able to tolerate her.

Wish I was a guy...this one is meant to be funny

quippers01's picture

This was inspired by a Walmart greeter at the store near my house. He's a special guy who could care less that he is in full view of the public and acting like a very unevolved stereotypical caveman...scratching and picking and such...

WISH I WAS A GUY

Wish I was a guy.
I'd have it made.
Would grow a gut
and call it shade.

Standing to pee,
blowing snot rockets,
farting in bed,
pool in my pockets.

What fun it would be,
digging for gold,
out in public.
This is my goal.

Perfect

quippers01's picture

This one was inspired by the first full great week I have had with my husband since near the beginning of our relationship. It was this past week and it was the result of starting meds that have helped me not obssess over the painful things DH has put me through this past year, evened out my mood swings, and helped me to not be so irritated by the little things. I thought this was the answer to my disliking SD problem. I knew I had been wrong the minute I woke up to the sound of SD's voince on her visit folling the great week.

The little brat told me no...

quippers01's picture

I work 3rd shift and get home around 5:15am at which point I watch a little TV and wind down before bed. This is also the only time I have to enjoy peace in my home when SD is here. This morning I got home and put on my jammies and started one of my shows online. At 5:30 SD5 walks into the livingroom. I told her it was too early for her to be up and to go back to bed and try to sleep. The little brat told me no and turned the TV on. I was livid.

Meds are not a miracle cure

quippers01's picture

I started taking Lexapro a couple weeks ago. This past week I really started to see a difference in myself. All the little things that usually get me worked up were just rolling right off of me. It was the first really great week in a very loooong time. I was so hopeful that it would carry over into SD5's visit. The meds might be helping with my everyday mood issues but it is not the miracle I was hoping for. I was told the full effect would take a few more weeks to happen so part of me is still hopeful but most of me knows I'm never going to stop hating these visits.

BM's feelings win again...update

quippers01's picture

I somehow managed to not wake DH up with a cup of ice water while screaming like a wackadoo who forgot to take their meds. I also made a dr appt for Fri because I don't think I'm going to survive my marriage without meds of my own. Instead of waking him I wrote a long letter to occupy my mind and then went to take a long hot bath with a big cold drink.

DH didn't invite me out of fear of BM

quippers01's picture

DH sent me a text telling me the his friend's wife sent him a text telling him about their new baby's christening. I had already gone to bed when he sent this. These friends are friend's of H and BM so she will most likely be there. His text to me was not an invite but more like a notice of his plans. I looked at his phone this morning and the friend asked for our address so she could send an invite to US. H sent me the text telling me about it and them immediately texted the friend to say "it will only be me".

Anxiety and dread start a week before she gets here.

quippers01's picture

I have 2 good weeks a month. Each inital week right after SD's EOWE visit. Then the weekend before her visits come and I start thinking "oh God, she's going to be here this time next week" and then it turns into "Damn it, she's going to be here in less than a week"..."a few days"..."AGHHH, TOMORROW!". It ruins the whole week. Every time. And I never feel any better until she's out the door Sunday. And even then, I'm only ok until the weekend when the cycle starts all over. I really feel so sorry for my H...MOST of the time.

BM has a new bf

quippers01's picture

This is good and bad. She will not cause trouble for a while because she's happy and distracted. When he dumps her like her last 3 or 4 did she is going to start shit with H again because she'll be hurt and angry and won't have a kid to hold over this guy's head to control him...so she will do it to H just to feel like her wants matter to someone.

Pages