You are here

Something I've never shared before...Sanctuary Lost

quippers01's picture

*BORING POETRY ALERT*

Writing is one of the things I do often as a form of therapy. Sometimes it's an angry letter, sometimes it's just random statements, and sometimes it's poems. Occaisionally the angry letters make it to their recipients but usually I just throw them away. I have never shown anyone the poems though, their not exactly Emily Dickenson quality LOL...However, recently I have written a couple inspired by the trouble I'm having in the step department and some by my BM issues so I thought I'd share a few here. And it helps that none of you know me so if they suck hard I won't be as embarrassed Blum 3 There's a couple off topic ones that are supposed to be funny so I'm going to post those too.

Each one has it's own inspiration and a little story behind it so I'm going to post them seperately and hope that isn't too annoying Smile

This one is called Sanctuary Lost and it's inspired by DH's habit of bringing up SD at inapropriate times. When we are talking about our marital issues he often feels the need to say "You and my daughter are the most important people in my life", or "Nothings more important to me than being a good husband and father", or some such statement that brings attention to his kid in the middle of a discussion we are having about "US". Another inappropriate time is when way to often he will say one of the same things above or just randomly bring up something about SD while we are laying together after sex. Who the f**k wants to talk about kids then...especial ones that aren't yours? Just things like this. Seems like he has forced this kid into every nook of my life. Anyway, here it is:

Constant reminder
of wounds too deep.
Tainting my world.
Invading my sleep.

Even when not,
it's alwas around.
Fills me with dread,
has my heart bound.

You invited it in
to our intimate lair.
Seeped in my haven.
It shouldn't be there.

You bring it where
it has no place.
No peace left within
our flesh's embrace.

Holding you closely
in our afterglow.
You welcome it in.
My resentment grows.

My sanctuary
I now have lost.
With thoughtless words
it's all been tossed.

My one place to hide
with no dark to fear.
My darkest demons
you summon here.

You barely notice
my expanding rage.
An untamed beast
in a broken cage.

Nothing's just ours.
This truth so foul.
What's left without bliss?
What's left for me now?

Comments

quippers01's picture

This, recently, has also become a rule in my home Smile

And I'm glad you like the poem, thank you.

Milomom's picture

Quippers01, I think that's a beautiful poem - and I'm sure it'll hit VERY close to home for some of our fellow "steppies" here.

Reading your poem made me realize the problems I WOULD'VE had if I didn't establish some major boundaries in the beginning of my relationship with my BF some 6.5 years ago. It made me truly APPRECIATE and be thankful for the things that my BF does do that strengthens our relationship. He is always loving, kissing and hugging me in front of skids, and for that I am truly grateful. We should not have to hide our happiness and we have the RIGHT to be UNINTERRUPTED in our "adult time/moments" - and I'm not just referring to sexual moments, either. As a matter of fact, I think the skids' seeing and witnessing a HAPPY, HEALTHY, LOVING relationship will teach them what they should deserve and strive for - for their own relationships in the future.

Quippers, I just think your poem is wonderful and powerful. I could never have written something so eloquent myself. One question: have you or would you ever consider showing this poem to your DH? You might be surprised by his reaction, because I agree, some men are just clueless to how we women feel when they do stupid, insensitive things like bring up their KIDS during or right after intimate moments between ADULTS.

Your DH may become enlightened and stop saying & doing such dumb things once you make him aware of it - and I think this post & this poem is the perfect conversation starter for telling him how you FEEL.

(((((Quippers)))))

quippers01's picture

Thank you for your compliments Smile I'm not the type that can just say nothing when things bother me so DH definately knows I have an issue with this. I do not show him my writings though, especially the ones about SD.