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Starting to worry about Ss12

Mrs.Marvel's picture

Sd13 and Ss12  there still upto their stepford behaviour. 

Over the past few days, SO and I have noticed some changes with Ss: he's always tired- after school he will come home and take a hour nap (sometimes upto 3 hours), do his homework, eat dinner, and go to sleep early. Like around 9:00 and won't wake up until the next day, usally around 7:30ish. Eating has become an issue for him, he used to eat anything, but now he barley will finish half of a meal. He used to be a social butterfly, but now he barley speaks to anyone at all. He's almost numb like when he's talking to us. Before with his reponse "thank you"BS there was alleast  some emotion, but now noting. Lacking any sort of emtion. SO was saying that the other day he walked into the living room and ss was just sitting on the couch just staring at the t.v, but it wasn't on. 

We're starting to think he's getting depressed, but it's diffcult to apporach him due to Sd being his 24 hour watch dog. 

How should we approach this?


tog redux's picture

I always get the image of you two tip-toeing around these two kids. Why can't DH just say, "Let's go SS, we are going for (fill in the blank: ice cream, shoot hoops, walk the dog)" and go do something alone with his son?

If there is concern about depression he should be evaluated by a therapist.  Are you guys still sure the BM isn't behind any of this?

Mrs.Marvel's picture

He's offered anytimes, but Ss will say "No thank you, Thank you for asking", but So will still insist and Ss will shut it down. 

So is looking for one- he's really concerned. 

Bm did call last night, sd was calling her mother, and Ss was barley speaking to her at all. She ignored Sd's response and had a normal conversation with her. After when Ss spoke to her, she asked him to give the phone to so and she asked if everything was okay with ss. I really don't think it's her. 

tog redux's picture

So, here's where the parenting comes in:

"SS, let's go take the dog for a walk."

"No thank you, Father Unit, but thank you so kindly for asking."

"C'mon, we are going."

"No, thank you, Father."

"Let's go, or you will lose your _____.  It's not optional."

Since when do kids get to just refuse to do what their parents ask of them?  My guess is that SD is bullying SS into behaving this way and he doesn't want to anymore.  Take him to see a therapist on his own, just him, BM and DH.  Take away her power.

Mrs.Marvel's picture

I honestly never thought of that. The kids were very close with SO before all this started, especially Ss.

Now looking back, I'm pretty sure it is all Sd. I really appreciate your advice. It's invaluable!

twoviewpoints's picture

I'd start with a dr for a physical complete with labs. This kid supposedly just had the flu severe enough to spend the whole week at home (however he managed to recover enough to go with a friend to science exhibit over the weekend).

I'd also search the kid's room and bookbag plus do a check through his phone and any computer usage.

This kid was perfectly phyically and mentally fit two weeks ago. 

If all checks (including dr visit) checks normal, then try the therapist route. 

elkclan's picture

yeah, you can get a bit of 'viral' hangover from flu. And if you are prone to depression anyway, it can trigger it. (It has for me.) He may also just be tired and/or going through a growth spurt. 

Maxwell09's picture

The kid needs to get outside and someone to throw ball with. He does sound like he is depressed and it might make me archaic, but I think a lot of this pressure to keep up with social media and friends is keeping kids from decompressing even at home. Kid needs to go outside and just enjoy the fresh air and sunlight. Make him leave his phone inside.