SO ended things last night- wedding called off. I'm heartbroken
I'm going to try to keep this as short as I possibly can. The wounds are still very fresh
Back in October, Ss12 was diagnosed with depression after SO found some very dark/distorted entires in his relfection journal. He's been seeing his therapist since. Both SO and Bm are very involved in his treatment. His therapist advised them at the divorce is what triggered it- apparently it's more common now(that's sad to hear).
He went from being loving and full of life to emtionless, cold, and stoich. His therapist advised SO and Bm that during the transtion phase, Ss did not know where he would fit in or belonged mixed with the fear of being left behind by both parents= depression. A lot needed to be clarifed to Ss to help him get to a better place. He needed to be assured that just because mom and dad are not together doesn't mean that they stopped loving him. He needed assurance that everything would be alright.
When we got engaged in June, that's when Sd13 and Ss12 started showing their hatred for be openly. It went from hating me, to stepford behavior, to Ss being depressed.
Sd13 still persisted with the stepford behavior until Bm called her out on it. Bm and SO were much happier being friends than being married and they communicated with one another within boundaries. She was a pleasant person. She was not manipulative, problem causing, noisey. I've talked to her many times and she was lovely.
Ss was just starting to open up again but he was distant.
Before SO and I got engaged, he did say that he was no intention of moving away from his kids. I agreed and would never ask him of such. Especially with Ss's depression, it would be best to remain here.
A job offer came for me from a city only 3 hours away. It meant a raise and a opportunity to move up the corporate ladder. I made the mistake of discussing it with SO while the kids where at our place for visitation. I thought they were asleep and we were downstairs in the living room.
Sd13 heard; she told Ss. SO was waiting to pick them both up at school . Only sSd was there. No Ss. SO called and texted Ss- no response. He went into the school; couldn't find Ss. SO called Bm, she panicked and rushed to the school. No one knew where Ss was for an hour. Bm got a phone call before she called the police and it was from Ss's friends mother. Ss had walked from school and went to his friend's house and he was distraught from what she told Bm. SO picked him up. Everyone was shocked, Ss it no the type to just up and leave like that. Might I add that his friend's house is far from the school.
Long story short, Ss tried to runaway and he told SO that Sd told him he was going to leave just like how SO was leaving. This was all a huge misunderstanding. I was discussing with SO the opportunity. I should have done it when skids were back at Bm's. Ss started to withdraw again.
Last night SO ended things and called off our wedding- it was in 6 months (April). This came as a total shock to me. SO said that Ss is clearly not doing well with everything that's going on and he needs to take a step back. He's is worried that Ss might take another drastic step.
He confirmed that he still love me but right now he has to focus on Ss but how could he just break up with me and call off our wedding like that?. I was with him for 3 years!. I get that he's worried about Ss but what about me? Do I not matter to him? We dreamed about us starting a family of our own. I I wanted to spend the rest of the life with him. We talked about what our life would be like together and he just ended things easily. I feel empty inside
I moved back to my old apartment last night- I'm glad I didn't get accept any offers. I texted my girlfriends and told them what happened, they're going to be spending the night here. I'm so hurt and shocked right now. 2 days ago I felt as if I was flying; now it feels as though I'm drowning. We were supposed to go visit my family during the chrismas break but I guess I'll be going alone.
I miss him so much that it hurts