You are here

Desperately Seeking Advice. Seems very UNJUST to me!!!

kegamiller's picture

My boyfriend and I were childhood sweethearts. At age 16, my father retired from the service and my family moved to my father hometown. That was 25 years ago and with the help of a social network my childhood crush and I reunited. We dated(again) for a year and now live together. Nice story, eh? Then the reality hit!!! We both have children from a previous. The father of my children and my boyfriend are co-parenting perfectly. However, not the case when it comes to the wifey. Here's where I DESPERATELY need advise.

My boyfriend's son, age 6 lives with us and has every other weekend with the mother. Our day is pretty typical of most American families. We eat dinner around 6:00 pm, homework, playtime, bath and bedtime. My boyfriend son's mother will call at dinnertime non-stop (hang up, dial, hang up, so on)until the phone is answered. This is sometimes 20 times in a row. We have asked her to please call anytime after school upto dinnertime and/or 7:30 after dinner and homework is finished. This is always received with profanity and fuels her to continue to call even more excessivly. She'll call non-stop for hours. She has even had her 90 yr old former mother-in-law(from her 1st marriage) to call and leave messages on the answering machine calling me "not so nice names" for my children to hear. We have now resorted to turning off the ringer and having her son call his mother each night right before bedtime. I feel her phone calls are a form of harrasment and thinking about filing a complaint with my local police department, but my boyfriend's attorney says she has a right to call as many times as she likes to talk to her son. How about my childrens rights to be able to eat and do homework in peace and not be constantly disrupted with excessive ringing of the phone?? Do I have any rights??? PLEASE ADVISE!!!


StepDeux's picture

Your DH does have rights. He can get it put into the order when BM can call and how many times a week she can call, how long she can talk to your SS, etc.

In our current CO, it says how many times a week SO can call SD and how long they can talk. This means that BM is required to answer the phone (she is current the CP and we do EOW) that many times a week, but no more than that.

You could even get an order that says that BM doesn't call you guys, but SS calls BM everyday or whatever. No, she does not have a right to harass you guys, which is what she is doing.

If it were me, I would start keeping a record of every time she does something like this to show to the Court, so the understand why you need that defined in the order.

aggravated1's picture

I agree. What she is doing is harrassment, and you can try to file charges. No one would consider that "reasonable telephone communication."

WickednNasty's picture

I agree it's a form of harrassment. She seems to insist on interfering with your families time together and her own sons homework. She has to know how this interferes with this childs ability to concentrate.

It sounds like his lawyer doesn't realize just how much she calls. I'd have her son call and tell her he's going to eat dinner then do his homework and he'll call her prior to going to bed. Document the calls that come in with the ringers off and bring it to the lawyer and ask again.

Rags's picture

Your attorney is an idiot. Find one who will work for you rather than one that spouts the customary drivel of the bottom 10%ers who usually go in to family law.

We struggled with the usual family law moron attorneys for a couple of years. The first attorney billed us more money for listening to my wife cry on the phone and vent than she did actually doing anything. I finally got tired of being told to "work it out with BioDad" and went on the hunt for an attorney who actually earned my money. When we first met with our current attorney he asked 4 very specific questions.

1) What specifically do you want to accomplish with this legal action?
2) Are you doing this for the kid or to get back at BioDad?
3) Do you have the resources to pay for this? It could get very expensive.
4) If I do not believe what you are trying to do is possible or reasonable are you willing to listen to the alternatives I may recommend?

I gave him a retainer on the spot.

If your attorney does not ask these same questions, fire their worthless ass and find one who does.

Our attorney has nailed the collective asses of the SpermClan to the wall and we have never failed to get what we set out to accomplish with our REAL attorney rather than the idiot bottom 10%er we started out with. Since we fried their asses in court the last time 7yrs ago, all we have had to do is have our attorney write a letter on his letter head to the SpermIdiot outlining very specifically what he will do and what we will present in court if he does not do what we tell him to do. Gotta love it! Blum 3

Save the messages that BM and her toothless 90y/o former MIL leave on your machine and play them for the judge the next time you are in court. The judge will nail BMs ass to the wall when the tapes are played in court.

I would recommend that you continue what you are doing. Turn off the ringer between 6:00 and after evening study is done. Have him call his BM right before bed. Make sure you can print a telephone log from your phone company showing that he calls his mom every night. This combined with the recordings of BMs vitriolic crap will likely get BM nailed to the proverbial wall by her gonads when the judge sees and hears it.

purpledaisies's picture

i agree with rags. I was about to say the same thing to fire him! Plus do have an officer come to your house during the times that bm is calling he will see for himself. Document everything and take it to your lawyer. That might show him how many times she is calling.

noworries's picture

is it possible that you can block her number during a certain time period. We had to do this with out BM.