I'm tired of being the bad guy!
If you've read my other posts, you already know this, but if you haven't, here's a recap. I have a daughter from a previous marriage (6yo), a SS(6yo), and SD(7yo). SD(7) is awful towards me and my daughter, and she likes to soil her pants at least once a day. (if you want to know mroe on this, read my other post: "TGIF").We have her in therapy, but we've yet to see any improvement because BM negates everything and tells SD it's my fault. (and no - I didn't break up their marriage. He left her because she was cheating, way before me).
Anyway... after my last entry when BM actually picked them up, both SKs came back awful. I'm talking, screaming matches, ignoring my daughter, acting like I don't exist, blaming me and lying to DH about E V E R Y T H I N G. I apparently wasn't packing lunch for SD(7), but I was!! Started making DH do it, and didn't say anything to her, as a test...SD(7) started throwing out her lunch and buying a hot lunch in the cafeteria, but didn't say anything. We found out when the school called, because there wasn't money on her account. Apparently she bought every day for a week, so we got charged a bunch of fees. What did my DH do?? NOTHING. Not a damn thing. I had to go onto the account and pay the school back, then had to talk to her about it. So who is the bad guy in this situation?? DH just sat there and agreed with me, but didn't punish her, nor did he make it a big deal. She sat there and lied, saying that she was still hungry after eating her first lunch, so she was buy FULL hot lunches after. DH said, "oh ok, then we'll pack you more". I called bullshit. I'm sorry, but i've seen SD(7) eat - she's a freaking snail. They only get 20 minutes to eat lunch - there's no way she is eating a packed lunch (sandwich, snack, yogurt, fruit, and juice), then getting in line for a hot lunch and eating all of that too....AND still coming home starving. SHE IS 7!! So I kept my cool and said I'm not buying it - what did you throw out? Sure enough, she was eating the snack out of her packed lunch and throwing everything else out. So after some talking, I said why don't you start packing your lunch with your dad the night before. Well...of course...that's come back to bite me now too. DH is now packing a sandwich, 3 snacks, 2 yogurts, 2 fruit options, and two drinks. If I actually thought she was eating it, then fine, but I know she's not. They don't have lunch until 1:15 (super late, i know), so we have to send in snacks for the classroom snack times too (another fruit and usually a bag of goldfish). She gets home and DH let's her eat another snack before dinner too, but she complains she'ss starving and he lets her have another snack on top. So we are talking about 6 bagged snacks before dinner each school day. When she's home, I can't even get her to finish a sandwich. Why? because all she wants is snacks. So I feel like we're just giving her junk and she's not eating any of the healthy options. We're literally throwing money away with all the food we send her in with, because I know she's not eating anything except the chips/crackers/cookies that DH sends her in with. She comes home super hungry, so his solution has been to add even more to her lunch each day. I tried to talk to him about it, and he says, "well she's my daughter and I eat a lot". There's a big difference between a 31 male and a 7 year old. We're not made of money, and BM makes sure she can squeeze whatever she can out of us when she shows up. So we're constantly buying more clothes, shoes, toothbrushes, mouthwash, food, etc. because nothing comes home, exceot clothes that don't fit them anymore. This last time, her car broke down for the 100th time, so my DH had to drive 2 hours to get the kids and 2 hours home, and we had to foot all the gas and tolls. She doesn't pay an once in child support, because she can't keep a job to save her life. DH doesn't want to get the courts involved because she has another son, and she's his only parent. I love that DH cares for this kid and doesn't want him put into foster care, but come on! So this lunch thing shouldn't bother me so much, but cripple that with everything else we're putting out, and the fact that we have 2 other kids, it's expensive....but of course...I'm the bad guy.
After re-reading this, maybe I am the bad guy. I'm just so frustrated all the time.