Have you ever just broken down randomly?
Have you ever just had one of those days, where you just break down? I was literally filling my car up at the gas station this morning, on my way into work - and just lost it. It wasn't like something drastic just happened, it's just the weight of everything hitting me all at once.
Things with my DD6's father are awful, and we're going through yet another custody battle. DD6 never wants to go there and constantly asks me why I'm making her. (I've tried to explain the situation to her, and she gets it to an extent, but she's 6, so...) Her father keeps taking important papers out of her book bag, on the days she picks up from school. I asked him about it, and he has 'no idea what I’m talking about'. He's also not bothering to show up to sporting events, or bring her when it's on his time. So DD6 just gets even more upset.
Things with my SD6 are awful. She lies about everything, and soils her pants 4-5 times a day (no medical issues, she's refusing to use the toilet because she knows it bothers me...and yes she's in therapy). DH is now trying to cover it up, so I'm getting even more upset. One minute he's not letting her get away with it (i.e. making her clean it up and get changed) and the next - he's acting like he didn't see her do it. So then I'm like, oh, he must not have seen, so I remind her to get cleaned up and then clean up the mess she made, and then it starts the drama. I'm an evil stepmom, I make her do everything, etc, etc. DH goes from my side to hers, in the blink of an eye. He's 100% enabling her behavior, but doesn't see it. He's just tired of her being in trouble all the time, and I get it, but we have 2 other kids that are younger, and we hold them to an even higher standard than SD7. They always end up asking ME why SD7 gets away with everything and they don't.
DH is also not working very much these days - it's contract work. If there's work available, it always ends up being somewhere too far or a time that doesn't work with our custody schedules. I have a flexible job, which lets me work from home when I need to, but there's obviously a limit. So every week I'm presented with a decision: talk to my boss (again) so I can be home to get the kids on and off the bus, or another week without an income from DH. I keep telling DH he needs to start looking for other work, or apply for unemployment, but he just says he is... (Also keep in mind, he's refusing to take the BM for child support for their 2 kids, because she can't even hold down a waitressing job for longer than a few weeks). His income is great when he's working, and that's his drive to stay, but he doesn't understand how difficult it is to manage finances when you never know when he's going to get paid or not. So I just keep redoing the budget and trying to keep us afloat.
I'm having a hard time sleeping and eating, meanwhile my DH just keeps reminding me that everything will work out eventually. Who knows, maybe it will...
Anyway, thank you for letting me vent.
An exhausted wife, ex-wife, mother, and stepmother