I've been searching all over for advices since I'm not getting any in the places I've been looking.

Let me go from the beginning.

I've met a guy, he's 50yrs and I'm 30yrs.... when I first met him, I had no idea he was divorced but I was told that he has 3 kids. This went by so fast that after meeting him in a year we decided to get marry(this was not a marriage that I wanted)  after the fact that he begged my parents for my hand in marriage and they convinced me.

Have you ever just had one of those days, where you just break down? I was literally filling my car up at the gas station this morning, on my way into work - and just lost it. It wasn't like something drastic just happened, it's just the weight of everything hitting me all at once.