Evil SD
Hi everyone! SOOO.... I have a sd (17) and omg is she evil!!!! She is just like her mother.... let me first start off with she has came at me multiple times in these past 5 years.... and over the dumbest things but I honestly think that this one tops the cake! One night about 2 weeks ago her and her father were arguing at the dinner table so I made the decision to take my son out of the room he's 4yo. Once they were done we came back into the room and yes we saw her storm off!! When I walked back into the room my husband had stuff on his face and he looked distraught so I asked what happened. He then told me that his daughter threw pizza crust as hard as she could at his face( they were sitting elbow to elbow at the dinner table). This isn't the only disrespectful thing that she has done to him or me but it's the most recent! So in that moment I made the decision that my son can't go and hang out with her in her room any more! Fast forward to 2 weekends later my husband agreed after dinner that my son can go upstairs with that.... so I was pi**ed and I reminded him that we agreed and that we were on the same page until now ( I just don't want my son who is still so impressionable to ever think that being disrespectful is ok). So we got into an argument and of course his daughter inserted herself and started texting me saying that I was low for keeping him from her (I'm not he just can't go to her room!) and went on and on to tell me that respect is earned and not give. So then I reminded her that it's a 2 way street and things got heated because she thrives on drama!!!! Trust me it's a much longer story but I only came on here to seek help!!!! So if anyone has been in a similar situation or has any advice on this PLEASE HELP!!! Because I honestly don't ever want to see her again especially after everything that was said and I don't want my son to be subjected to that kind of behavior!!!!
HELP!!!!!!
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Comments
My 2 kids are 5 & 6.5 and have had no contact or
Relationship with their estranged half sisters aged almost 17 and almost 27.
firstly when sd can be respectful, polite, civil etc and not undermine my parenting of our minor kids and apologise for the crap they did, they can have a relationship if they choose to change their ways and prove it as actions speak louder than words.
my sd's cut of contact with their dad for 5.5 yrs, 1 yr prior to me meeting hubby they had cut off contact but then about 1 yr after reinitiating contact the eldest sd calls my husband one day fake ceying and bling me (his wife) and our 2 kids aged 1 & 2.5 for why she had no relationship with daddy
yup apparently we were the new family (aka substandard subpar family) and how dare hubby prioritise his wife and young kids who require his nurturing over sd's. I saw the warning signs and cheap digs prior to this but my husband ignored them.
after my husband told me what the eldest sd said, i refused to be around sd's and my 2 kids with my husband have no relationship. I hated the miniwife behaviour and frankly if you're despicable, desperate and low enough to scapegoat daddys wife and 2 young kids for the crap narc manipulative relationship and trash you treat your dad with, i won't have anything to do with you
my kids have asked about their half brother and why he's different and I explained they have the same dad but a different mum. My daughter kept asking about his mum and why she had nothing to do with ss & i simply said the facts. She's an abusive mean woman who threw her son away and he wants nothing to do with her. She's not a nice person and his 2 sisters told your dad that they hated me and you and your brother for existing in daddys life.
i won't hold back and lie to our kids. They need to be equipped with the facts so in future when they grow up, they know how to navigate any potential relationships with sd's. Which i doubt will be much
my sd's continually tried to feed my kids things that would make them extremely sick and i have a son with severe allergies requiring an epipen so we have to take many precautions with our daughter too for fear or cross contamination etc so you don't get to fuc* around with these things in front or around me.
it took my husband another 1.5 yrs to finally tell off sd that she was his daughter, not his wife or mother of his 2 kids with me so what i says goes. She needs to remember that place
one thing i made clear to hubby is this toxic cycle of dysfunction ended with the demise of his previous marriage. The facts his kids don't want to move on from that doesn't cross into our household ever. We will not have a toxic marriage or household and sd's want that, so they are not welcome in our home or family unit.
hubby manages his relationship with them away from me.
end of the day, sd doesn't dictate the environment your kid grows up in. If she wants a relationship and a genuine one, she behaves. There will be no physical violence in your home and since she has repeatedly failed to prove that she can behave with no physical violence, you have every right to distance yourselves.
sd needs to understand that the same physical violence she did to her dad if done on yoyr 4 yr old or yourself would result in the police being called for being a threat to your safety.
abusers don't get to play victim
Thank you!!!!
Thank you I am honestly so torn right now because I want him to have a relationship with his sisters but not if they will continue to be disrespectful to my husband and me (and their mom and step dad) it's honestly everyone that goes through this! So I find it so funny that when conflict arises with me their mother gets mad at me ..... but my husband sees through her bs and always has.... I just knew that my husband wouldn't put his foot down and so I had to he's our son so I would protect him to the ends of the universe!!!!! She never thinks she's in the wrong and doesn't want to change so as of right now she isn't allowed to be around him.... I don't know what else to do!!!! It won't be forever because I think family is so important..... but I knew I had to sign up for this so then I knew I wasn't the only one dealing with this craziness!!!!!! Thank you so much!!!!!!!
Except you never signed up for the disrespect and abuse from sd
End of the day hubby must nip it as it arises. Too much pussyfooting around because of her tantrums ensures and encourages her to behave the same.
he and only he can put sd in her place and staye clearly what standards pf expectations are required.
my husband is an essential worker on call 24/7. So whatever limited time he has, he wants to spend it with family. But he knows sd's don't treat us like family and are rude/disrespectful and make everything about stepdad and biomum just to make them relevant when they are not.
so in this situation hubby doesn't want weekends revolving around hearing non stop rants of biomum and stepdad like the sun shines out of their arse, he also won't do the 2 separate visits on weekends. If our family has planned an outing, its just us because sd's have proven time and time again they cannot be civil and respectful and because they made it very clear they despise me and our 2 minor kids for existing so hubby knows not to force a relationship on us.
what he does do is say if a family wedding and I don't wanna go as its far and know kids will be carsick, i stay home and hubby invites sd's. Years ago they did this song and dance of last minute cancellations and changes and we were expected to cater to them and they were never on time. We finally got to our destination pissed off and cranky with cranky and sick kids, so no mood for a holiday and I honestly wanted to be as far away from them as possible and do my own thing but they were glued to hubby side by side.
your home is meant to be your zen and safe place, if sd refuses to accept yhe basic standards of behaviour, she doesn't enter it ever. It can be done, it just relies on the parent raining hell on their kid. It took my husband to hear me say divorce to actually take thingbs seriously.
i told him since he was incapable of change, didn't care about our feelings and safe welcoming home environment but instead encouraged and allowed the mental and manipulative abuse to continue, I wasn't gonna subject myself and our 2 young kids to a toxic marriage and home and continue that cycle of dysfunction that skids have that hubby kept saying he wanted to avoid with our kids.
only then did my husband wake up and realise all the pathetic excuses for skids were bullshit cop outs
It starts young
My ss(9) has always tried to do something crazy atleast once a year but me and his grandma always say that you gotta get them told when he's young. His mom does a horrible job at this but I've had a long car ride conversation with him and told him I would whip his ass is he ever disprected me or his momma or he can go live with his drug addicted father. We haven't had an episode since.
I wish
Her mother definitely doesn't act like one!!!! She has kicked her out of her house so many times since we've been together.... but we got together when she was 12 and we didn't have a problem then but about a year later we were talking politics and we didn't agree and that's where it all started with the psychotic behavior!!!!! I told her once you better check yourself and then she jumped out of her seat so fast and tried attacking me!!!! Ever since then it makes its rounds ..... and trust me I want to spank her so bad…… But I have a four-year-old I need to think of and I don't need to get arrested… If only her mother would actually be a mother!!!!
Did you defend yourself with debilitating agression?
If not, why not?
Purge this waste of flesh from your home, life, and family. I would.
My bios have no relationship
My bios have no relationship with 3 of the skids. My youngest is their half sister and she doesn't know them at all. They ruined any chance by drinking the PAS kool aid. They all got violent as teens. There's no need to foster it , they saw to that. Have no guilt for cutting off skids to keep your own safe as they grow up. As adults they can try...or not.
She has come after you....
She should have been thrown out after a clear ass kicking after the first time. That her father didn't do it because she disrespected his bride says far more about that entire shallow and polluted gene pool than I care to know. That anyone should care to know IMHO.
That she threw food in her father's face would have gotten her turned over a chair and her ass blistered with a belt if she were mine. 17 or not. Though to avoid legal issues for myself, I would have had her hauled off in cuffs with an assault charge then purged her from my life with an RO/PO. She would be nowhere near my 4yo ever again if I had anything to say about it.
Grrrrr!
I cannot immagine the hell that would have fallen on me if I ever threw food in my father's face or disrespected his wife. That she is my mom, would not be a mitigating factor. Your DH should lay waste to his POS failed family ill behaved breeding mistake.
Update
Thank you everyone so much for all of the advice!!!!! She is out and will never return.... she tried coming home today and so I kicked her out and her dad had my back she was so angry and punched me in the face ( I got it all on video) but she's out permanently!!!!!
Dammit, don't stop there.
Dammit, don't stop there. Press charges!
Oh hell yes press charges
Hubby can't force or pressure you to not press charges.
what happened if he weren't home and you were holding your 4 yr old when she punched your face and you dropped him?
she has shown repeatedly she has no respect and people like this need to understand there are consequences for physical assault.
If you don't press charges
If you don't press charges she will be emboldened to continue her abusive ways and might branch out to include anyone she crosses paths with. Do the world a favor and give her consequences.
If you don't press charges
If you don't press charges she will be emboldened to continue her abusive ways and might branch out to include anyone she crosses paths with. Do the world a favor and give her consequences.
I'd press charges and get a
I'd press charges and get a restraining order so she can't come around even if your husband changes his mind. I assume your husband is NCP and her mom has primary custody, right?
Restraining Order
You need to follow up on this or your child could be taken from you...