Mayday: skid will be here soonish
May 1st is generally when it settles in me that skid will be here soon.
Per her school calendar, May 30th is the last day of school, but in true BM form, skid isn’t allowed to finish out the year, with the rest of her peers, because BM wants skid outta there.
Probably even more so this year, because BM is due to have a baby any day now.
Skid will likely arrive around the 24th, or 25th, which means she’ll miss out on an award ceremony one day, yearbook signing and other end of year festivities another day. I find that sad and struggle to believe DH and MIL’s “But, that’s okay (she’s missing out on these things)! Skid is SO excited to come to (our state) for summer break!”
But, is she? Everyone seems to know for certain how skid feels about it all. BM, in-laws, AND my DH seem to adjust the narrative to align with their own agendas. I guess the one that rubs me in the worst way is the fact that they enable BM to pull this crap - every visitation.
BM is supposed to coordinate travel with DH, worst case MIL, but that never happens. She just books a one way flight, puts skid on a plane, and notifies others that she is on her way.
If I’m to believe what they tell me, skid doesn’t even inform them when she’s close to getting on a plane in her city,state until she’s literally about to land in our city,state. It’s an eleven hour flight from there to here, btw.
Another issue is MIL. I’m very low contact (no contact if I can help it) with her. When skid is due for a visitation, she starts in with her hoovering and controlling behavior. She’s an altruistic narcissist of THE WORST kind, so this is generally an opportunity to cash in all those deposits of niceties she thinks she has made since skid’s last visit.
MIL sees me as the bridge for skid to see DH - which couldn’t be farthest from the truth or reality. DH works 12-14 hour days, 5-6 days a week. When he’s home, he’s often doing social media work for his restaurant or out riding his bike, training for race season. And while MIL really doesn’t like me at all, she wants and needs me to play bonus mommy to skid.
Skid is enrolled is several days camps throughout her 8-10 week stay. MIL works full time and FIL still has a suspended drivers license. That doesn’t mean he won’t drive, though, because... skid needs to be shown a good time!
When I fail to deliver, in-laws then turn-up skid’s visitation to volume 11. Gifts, trips to the beach, trips to amusement parks. These are things that are never offered to our bios - ever. I see it as some sort of punishment towards me, because I don’t feed into the supply and desire to treat skid as if she’s the most important person in this failed blended family.
BM and MIL usually act really ugly around visitation, causing me to be super guarded. I’m going to try really hard this year to let go of allowing circumstances and emotions to have their hold on me.