in a long, long time. Because for the first time in almost 10 summers - no skid. And that means no...
- BM talk ("my mom "says/does/thinks/likes/dislikes"). Ditto in regards to BM's dude bro husband. This one hurts my heart for DH...
- bombardment of photos BM sends skid, daily, of her toddler half sibling being shown to our children. (Insert No One Cares spongebob meme here).
- skid getting into my personal things, like make-up and hair and nail products, while I'm at work.
- shared meals with an almost 14-year-old picky ass eater.
... FIL, MIL, and BIL.
So, revisiting my last blog entry, I'm low-key laughing at some of y'alls responses, because COVID-19 is no joke.
Some backstory: DH and I decided skid's summer visitation was a hard pass no-go. To refresh your memory with how my in-laws reacted to that executive decision on DH's part, back in March when our state issued a firm stay-in-place order:
I have a gut feeling that skid’s summer visitation is still going to happen, based on my MIL’s excessive lovebombing and hoovering behavior towards me as of late.
I haven’t responded to any of MIL’s texts or FaceTime calls in over a month, and all that does is make her ramp up the need for communication much worse. She has a history of being like this right before she goes over DH and makes the executive decision to grant BM’s visitation wishes.
It’s very much MIL’s MO to try and get in my good graces immediately before she makes a conscious decision to cross the line.
Last night, while DH and I were sitting outside on the porch watching DD and DS run around in the yard, skid FaceTimed DH.
I sat there, out of frame, and just listened.
Skid lives in Southern California. They have an active stay-in-place order happening and school is out, obviously. Skid asked DH how summer visitation was going to go. Surprisingly, DH didn’t sugarcoat it much, though I’m sure it has a lot to do with the fact that I was sitting right there.
Help me understand why someone would have to wear an ankle monitor for a second time, because I am truly clueless when it comes to this stuff.
My FIL has one on again.
While skid was here for Christmas visitation, BM and her husband were paid a visit. A woman and a young child showed-up at their door, on Christmas Day, to spread the good news that he has a child.
Apparently this child is 6 months older than BM’s child - putting this child being born a month or two before BM and her husband got married (BM was roughly 5 or 6 months pregnant when they tied the knot).
This has been confirmed by several adults and skid.
I hear BM’s husband is already starting to have his child every other weekend for visitation.
and I suspect it’s my MIL.
Skid has been gone a good 10 days and I’ve noticed our young bios have been mentioning BM’s toddler with her current husband in conversation, as if they know him.
Someone’s pushing this “Skid’s half-brother is faaaaaaamily” narrative, post skid’s visit. And given ALL the drama and BS behavior from BM, past and present, why is this okay?
I mean, I know it’s okay to MIL, but why in the world should this be okay with me?
I guess I’m looking for ideas how to tackle this, because it has my nerves frazzled.
In my most recent blog post I stated that DH slipped up and told me that a few months ago he found out that BM had put an income inquiry in with the state.
DH currently pays $600/mo, which he pays directly to skid’s school, as that’s her monthly tuition cost.
He finally opened the mail he received from our previous city, state (where BM and skid reside) that has been sitting there for days upon days.
Per the papers, BM not only put in for a potential CS increase, but she is requesting an extra $350/mo for “medical expenses”.
He returned to work yesterday morning. The kids and I got up bright and early too. We went to Target to buy Christmas decorations and wrapping paper on clearance, make some exchanges, and buy some other needed things.
Once we got home, I fed them lunch, took down the Christmas tree (it was so, SO dry this year), packed-up Christmas, cleaned the rest of the house and then took them to the park, because it was a sunny, warm 66 degrees out.
By the time DH got home I was on the verge of a mental breakdown. Just utterly exhausted mentally and physically.
Well, December 17th, DD’s birthday AND skid’s Christmas visitation arrival date rolled around and it was surprisingly wonderful.
The kids and I followed through with the plans I set forth for that day to celebrate her birthday. We went out of town to have fun at a massive children’s museum; I generously shopped for DD (and DS) in the gift shop; we went out for a fun meal at an interactive local restaurant. I paid for ALL of it and it felt SO good.