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Merrigan's Blog

Financials that don’t involve me, how to disengage.

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I have a great job and make a decent salary. SO does as well and will be coming into a cash windfall in the next few months, as well as a significant raise. Child support is settled via court with BM and goes to 18 for each girl, 24 if they go to post secondary. He isn't required to provide anything extra than child support.  This is all signed off on by him and BM in court.

Unexpected SD18

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SO invited me over to his place for the weekend, even though he's working nights. This is common in our relationship, but he neglected to mention that SD18 was staying with him due to antivaxx BM having COVID yet again.  He goes for a deep daytime sleep, and she parks herself next to me on the couch and proceeds to talk at me for the next three hours. She likes to talk A LOT, and she enjoys an audience. I got to hear all about how she asked her mom about how she fell in love with my SO, how she felt it was true love at the time, but now she still cares about him.

Gray Rocking the SD

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This is all an SO problem, but I feel like venting again.

Last time I saw my SO at his place with the SD's was almost two months ago, just after the garden party poop show. I was riding on a high of "why do I have to put up with this?" and decided not to give AF anymore. So I spent a couple of hours on a Saturday with SO and OSD. We went to a farmers market. This is what OSD (almost 18) said during this time.

Checking out a local winery stand, in front of the vendor: "OMG are you guys going to get DRUNK tonight?"  SO said that wasn't nice, I said nothing.

Garden Party Screamfest

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Yesterday was a garden party style birthday celebration for SO's niece and nephew at the grandparents place. I didn't want to go due to all the drama that takes place when the SD's visit his family (PAS from BM, who hates his family and isolated him from them for years). SO promised me there'd be no drama. Sure. Okay.

Wedding Photo

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SO's parents dislike BM. There's a lot of PAS going on from BM to the SD's about the grandparents. (BM hates them). The grandparents have wedding and "couple" photos of all of their sons and DIL's on display, including a few of SO and I, even though we aren't married. All photos of SO and BM have been removed or hidden away. The last time I was at their place with SD17 (stb 18), she was on a mission to find a wedding photo of her parents specifically to show me. It's her usual passive aggressive approach now that she's been told she's not allowed to be rude to me.

SD17 alienating family

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SO's family, which isn't shocking. Her personality is what it is, and although she's a beautiful young woman, she doesn't have the little kid cuteness to excuse it anymore. She craves attention, whether positive or negative, she's loud, rude, and has gotten into verbal fights with all her aunts and uncles. (Possibly minor physical incidents, as she's mentioned giving people small slaps. She's done it to my hand, and to her grandfathers arm in front of me).

Time with just one SD

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SD17 is quarantined with her mother, and SD15, who isn't sick (still not sure if it's COVID because BM refuses to test and SO is being vague), has been spending time with us. She's been a delight, and I mean that 100%. She's been cooking with us, hiking local trails, tidying up after herself, and has just been altogether fun to be around.

Skids are sick

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The SDs are feeling sick. SO and I haven't seen them since Boxing Day. As per my blog history, they and their mom are unvaccinated and BM is anti-mask.  They have access to free rapid tests but the girls are afraid of them, and he feels he can't force them to take one.

How to tell if someone is a total piece of poo

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BM is antivaxx and Qanon.  Her teenage kids are unvaccinated, both for COVID and for most childhood vaccines. SD15 wants to get the shot but is terrified that it'll kill her, and SD17 thinks it's a microchipped poison laced godless control jab from the government meant to take away our free will. (And she will scream this in your face if you dare say anything else).