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ex stepson is going to be a negative influance

Ladystark's picture

My friend informed lastnight that when my daughter got off the bus on monday that she was saying " I dont care" to everything.  The girlfriend im staying with, watches my daughter,  in the afternoons for me- her son does wrestling so sometimes  its like Hi- bye situations lol.  Last night before we head down to the basement apartment- one of her kids yelled it- which reminded her.   My daughter isnt an i dont care kid, she usually says I dont know.   She said she got her off the bus and asked her if she wanted her to hold the backpack- she said i dont care- then she asked her some questions about school and every answer was i dont care-  she waited till they got inside and asked her if she was hungry and you guessed it I dont care.    so my friend chatted with her that its not a very nice answer.  and my daughter was  all oh ok, and has not said it again.

I think its my ex step son saying it around her over the weekend - that is his go to- especially when talking about grades or anything school related- so im wondering if there was some sort of "talk" that babygirl was around and thats what he repeated- I also worry he says it to her.  ex step used to give my son mean answers-  my son would ask him if he would play, and exstep would say- im tired- or  why so you can cry? or i dont care(walk in room shut door)  always weird or negative- so i could see her trying to tell him something and here comes the i dont care-  He is such a weird kid, he does not get people are different ages, so you have to be a little different- I blame that on ex MIL, and of course my ex,  always letting him talk to whoever however he wanted to!

Example: Like if  he is around by his buddies being sarcastic- he cant shut it off- if a teacher was to come up to him after they were all being like that (joking/sarcastic) he would be sarcastic to the teacher too, not realizing she is not apart of it.  If he was calling his friends "stupid" he would call his grandma stupid and not bat an eye.

So i worry he is being nasty to a 4 year old...he is 15...  but mentally probably like 6th grade! lol

I hate sending her over there, but atleast he is not there all the time- atleast thats what it seems to me- She never talks about him.  Does not mention him in play either.  she talks about my son alot.  when she names all her toys its usually my son and my friends kids, and more and more friends from school.   when she draws pictures, she will draw All of us, except exstepson- which that is very telling to me.

Oh i asked her if she plays any games with him, her answer- they play who can go to bed first, and whoever wakes up first wins. uhuhuh   awesome-  im sure that was dh having trouble getting her to go to bed, so he used exss. seems a little sad that, well thats it, thats all i could get out of her-  i said well im sure you like when he plays with your toys- her no thats daddy.  i guess some interaction is better than none?

i hate that she has to go be around a negative brat-  i hope at somepoint he wont be there anymore. atleast she will have a bond with one brother.

i forget even though i left I still have to deal with  step kid residue........



tog redux's picture

Kids start to pick up all kinds of bad behavior once they are around other kids, especially on the bus - I wouldn't blame it all on the ex-SS just yet.

Ladystark's picture

i know but  it was just the way she was saying it very aloof like a teenager  - not kiddish   

earlier in the year she started lifting up her shirt when she would talk! lol some little boy in her class does it, so i know she will pick up stuff- but my friend said it  was like her 13 year old was standing there saying it. lol

fourbrats's picture

I know goes through something like this (I have raised four, have numerous nieces and nephews and work at a school). It's the 4 year old version of being rude or playing with things like sarcasm and how to get a reaction out of people. 

There is also an 11 year age difference between your DD and your exSS so expecting playtime between the two of them seems like a stretch. I have a 15 year old (girl) and although she will interact with smaller children she is doing homework, engaging in high school level activities, socializing and watching YouTube. It is especially not common for a 15 year old boy to want to play games with a preschooler.