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Grandparent visits

Jcksjj's picture

Just out of curiosity - do your kids or skids spend overnights with their grandparents or step grandparents often if they live near by?

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Lizzylemon's picture

Yes, we have sd9 sun-thurs and have her spend 1 of our nights at dh parents house to give me a break. I have no bio kids and dh knows it’s stressful for me to have a skid in the house. Though the skid is not that annoying it’s an inconvenience for us to have her for that length of time. She adores her grandmother and would rather be there anyways where she has no rules and is not forced to bathe or eat healthy. It’s a win win! 

Thumper's picture

Lizzylemon,,,you need a break from dh daughter during his time. So you pawn her off on the GP's?

Not cool. Inconvenient?

Lizzylemon's picture

Yes, we have sd9 sun-thurs and have her spend 1 of our nights at dh parents house to give me a break. I have no bio kids and dh knows it’s stressful for me to have a skid in the house. Though the skid is not that annoying it’s an inconvenience for us to have her for that length of time. She adores her grandmother and would rather be there anyways where she has no rules and is not forced to bathe or eat healthy. It’s a win win! 

ITB2012's picture

My DS preferred his own bed so he always came back home. BM had a really hard time when we first got married and didn’t even want my parents babysitting at our house for any amount of time so the skids didn’t get to do as much. 

(Though they probably know my parents better than their bio grandparents because both sets live far away and BM and DH didn’t make a regular effort to see them.)

ndc's picture

My skids have spent the night with my parents a few times (they live an hour or so away), and I know BM's mother, who lives about 10 minutes away, will keep them for BM occasionally (like once every few months).  DH's parents live many hours away, so no overnights there.  We have the kids 50/50, so we get a break since they're gone half the time anyway.  

lieutenant_dad's picture

I spent A LOT of time with my grandparents growing up, including many an overnight.

The boys stayed with GBM fairly frequently, and lived with my MIL for a bit. DH would do his visits at FIL's house even when he didn't live there because DH never had enough money to rent more than a room (yay paying for BM's rent and utilities because the courts gave her unemployed arse the kids! *cringe*).

Chmmy's picture

The skids stay with my mother in law whenever we ask. She loves having them but it's tiring for her. She has a heart condition.

BMs parents have never even babysat for the skids.

My parents? Ha, i would never do that to them.i wouldnt even ask. Why? So ss12 can piss on the guest bed. It would have to be one hell of an emergency for me to ask my parents to watch the step grandkids, especially overnight.

ESMOD's picture

My SD's actually lived with their grandparents a few times.. when my DH and his EX first split.  She was unstable housing wise.. and my DH worked offshore.. so they lived with my husband's parents.  Again when they both were in HS they moved down to live with their grandparents.  Mom couldn't handle them.. and again DH worked away from home.. plus BM wouldn't stand for "me" raising her girls.. plus the GP's school district was better than mine anyway.

My YSD still visits and stays with them and she's 21.  They have a close relationship.

I think it's healthy to allow it.. but not at the exclusion or expense of parental relationships.. and not if the GP's are unable or unwilling to care for the kids properly (including oversight).

NotThatTypical's picture

Our's will stay with my mom from time to time since she lives only a few minutes walk away. She'll keep them for an hour here and there and over the summer when we have them for the extended 6 weeks she'll take them for a night or two so my significant other and I can get a date night.

Jcksjj's picture

So my inlaws take SD probably once a month. Great, shes out of the house then. They refuse to watch ODS for even an hour. My mom takes ODS about once a month also and she took SD overnight once and it was a disaster. My mom has a background in working with kids so she still will take SD, but really doesnt want to and we dont have her since inlaws wont do the same and it kind of rubs the favoritism deeper for ODS if my mom is doing those things for SD too when her gma wont. So right now it works out fairly well just having each older kid go to their respective grandparents.

Anyway, I'm kind of curious if MIL is ever going to ask to take the 2 "ours" babies overnight. I'm thinking she wont ever and it will continue to always just be SD.

Felicity0224's picture

Our DD regularly spends the night at my parents and at my ILs. They ask to take her so often that I actually have to tell them no sometimes so we can spend time with her. We’re all really lucky that she’s so close with her grandparents. I was that way with mine, especially my paternal grandparents.

My SDs don’t have much of a relationship with my ILs. They were included in BM’s alienation campaign and the girls would always throw a fit about spending any time over there because “granny is mean” (meaning that my MIL doesn’t let children run wild, or stuff them full of sweets and do whatever they want like BM’s mother does). It genuinely makes my ILs sad, which is part of why they’re so clingy with DD I (she’s their only other grandchild) I think.