I HATE Couples Counseling
I am considering going back to couples counseling. My DH and I have been to counseling in the past but it has not been very helpful. Our past counselors were good listeners but nothing from the sessions really helped us to improve things in our marriage. I felt mostly our sessions were just us both talking about our problems and each defending our point of views. My DH think's mostly he is "right' "correct" about most things and I spend the session time feeling in the position of defending my view or how I see things differently. The counselor just listened to both sides but offered very little input on how to improve things. Needless to say these sessions were not very helpful or productive, it just ends up where we each get defensive about our view points. The result is usually I back down, be quiet and go along. He comes across very powerful and decided in his "right" way of seeing the issues and I end up feeling weak. I kind of give up on hope for change and try to learn how I am going to just accept. So the past counseling has not been helpful to me or our marriage in my opinion.
Currently with our step family issues that have gotten worse I think we need HELP. That plus our communication issues and trust issues I think we may need help. We have tried to discuss and work thru these things on our own but we get no where. We both just get defensive and our stopped at an impasse at that point. He get's very cemented in his view and I give up trying to confince him of my side so we just fall back into a pattern that feels very frustrating as I want to work thru things were maybe we both need to compromise and he stays strong with his "right" way of seeing things.
Wondering if we should try couples counseling again? Maybe find a different therapist? Maybe find one with some step family experience? I HATE couples counseling and really do not want to go back but I am currently at a loss of what else to do. We need help to be able to get thru this somehow. My DH has agreed to go back to counseling but I am the one dragging my feet now because I have hated the expereince of couples counseling so much in the past and the fact it has not helped us before. I wonder if it's worth the pain and effort. I also fear that it might not help and then what?
Have any of you had sucess with counseling? If so how did/do you find a good counselor to work with? What things should I look for in a couples counselor?
I am willing to just try counseling for myself only but I dont think that in the long run it will impact our marriage that much. I can work on me and my stuff to improve myself. but to really resolve things in a marriage doesnt it take two? Dont we both need to go to counseling together to work thru the step family issues etc.? Doesnt it take compromise and understanding on both sides?