Mother’s Day Wishes and Hell
First to all those stepmothers our there Happy Mother’s Day! I might be the only one that tells you that so let me say to all of us stepmothers out there even if we are outcast because our skids hate us we still get to maybe take a little credit for stepping into this often difficult role of stepmother. So though no one may buy us flowers or send us a card we still get to have the often complicated role and title of stepmother.
Mother’s Day is very complicated for me. I have the title of stepmother but my adult skids hate me. So it’s just a reminder of how I have this role and got this title by marrying my DH but I am not really a mother. When we married I got a lot of the smiliar obligations, financial and time impacts etc. of being a mother but without the benefits (so it feels). I have no children of my own so having this title of stepmother but not really being part of the family anymore is confusing and sad for me.
My mother has also passed away so this day brings up lot of challenging.emotions for me! I am not someone’s mother, not someone’s daughter any longer and though I am married and my husbands kids impact my/our lives and marriage, to his kids I am not an accepted part their family.
It is very challenging to go the grocery, shopping, read any May issue magazine, browse the internet without being bombarded with Mother’s Day marketing. For those that are mother’s I am sure it’s a very special and honored day just not one I am part of. I try to cope by trying to avoid seeing as much of it as I can.
So this dreaded day is coming up this Sunday and it is usually filled with grief, anger, lonliness, alienation,sadness etc. I try very hard to try to make it a low key day at home and practice some self care because it just makes it worse if you go out on that day and feels like everyone else is either celebrating or wishing you a “Happy Mother”s Day”, which I feel a need to politely respond, ‘thank you’, awkwardly.
Was wondering other stepmother’s out there how you deal with the day especially if you have skids that hate you so there is not going to be any form of acknowledgement of the day from them. What are some of your coping techniques to get you through the day? How do you your and your DH deal with the day (mine is usually quiet, doesn’t mention the day and leaves me alone, not sure if that a good thing or not). The day usually feels pretty much like hell for me always now.
I would welcome feedback on coping strategies for dealing and getting thru Mother’s Day, besides that on Monday 5/13 it’s over which is one of my ways to cope and try to remain positive is to keep reminding myself its almost over.