OT - Eff Off Friday
Happy Friday the 13th, STalkers! My boss took the day off - she's superstitious. Me? I'm going grocery shopping after work (trying out a new recipe tomorrow) and might stop for a beer before heading home.
Eff off to:
- Nagging asshats. Effer, I KNOW how to do my job. I'm GREAT at my job. I have NEVER missed one effing deadline. So you can eff right off, coming to my desk and nagging me about the report I run every Friday that is due NLT 10am. I had that mofo run and the results emailed at 9:17am. Go back to your effing desk and check your effing email and don't nag me about a damn report that technically was not due for another 43 effing minutes.
- People who are asshats simply because they enjoy being unpleasant, confrontational, argumentative, and nasty.
- Control Freak 1.0. Everyone knows you are asking for our opinions to make it look like you are open-minded. BULLSH!T. Every suggestion is met with sh!tty looks and increasingly hostile rejection. Stop effing asking us and just do the effing thing your effing self.
- Control Freak 2.0. When you collect non-perishable food that is not limited to just cans. Mac & cheese, dried beans, scalloped potatoes, rice... all non-perishable food. Stop telling people they can only bring in cans. That's what YOU want. And since you've been such an effing twunt about it, I came in after hours last night and dropped off entire effing CASES of mac & cheese and Minute Rice.
- Craptastic shite therapists who have no effing business counseling a pet rock, much less a person. Please change your career path to one where you do not interact with anything that has a heartbeat.
- Cancer, you effing effer. I have been urging my lovely SM to go to the doctor about "spots" on her face. Malignant cancer. The lesions were removed and the doctor believes he got it all. Stitches come out next week.
I hope you have an enjoyable and stress-free weekend!