Ok so here is my situation maybe someone can shed some light on it and see if I'm off base. My wife and I married 4 year ago been together 5. We have 2 kids together I have 2 from a previous marriage and she has 4. her 4 boys lived with their father and my 2 girls live with their mother. The problem is with her oldest about 3-4 years ago we got a call from my wife's ex that he couldn't handle the 12 year old at the time and that he was bringing him to live with us. Of course I didn't bat an eye and we took him in.