So my stepson is almost 13 (i've been his stepmom for 9 years, since he was 4) Him and his mother or BM have always had a very stressful relationship. And it's gotten physical quite a few times with her abusing him & now a teenager him abusing her back. She has bullied him the entire time i've been around & i think he's just conditioned to the craziness.

Just read a post where a lady was saying she and her fiance are now really on the same page. I say this all the time to my DH. We need to be on the same page about SD13. Finally while she was gone for 2 wks. he started agreeing with me about everything and said YES we ARE going to be on the same page when she returns and things are going to be good! THEN, after 2 fun weeks together (yes, and more s e x than usual) 2 nights before SD13 returns DH turns a total 180! Goes back on everything we agreed on and made it all 100 times worse!

I married my husband a year and a half ago, making me a stepmom to two great kids (13yr and 12yr.) We dated for 4 1/2years before marrying so I had ample time to develop a relationship with the kids. Their mother has residential custody of the kids during school and my husband has residential custody in the summer. My husband's occupation requires a lot of moving on our part. He has gone to court to ensure his parents have equal rights to his visitation time when we are unable to be present.

I am recently married to a nice guy who had three children by his first wife. I knew him for two years before we married and had interaction with his children. I thought all was going to be wonderful and we would be this big happy family. I believed no difference would be made between my child (which is also his) and his first three children. I thought his children (ages 7, 15, and 17) would acknowledge (in the least) as their stepmother, but I was terribly wrong. Being a stepmother has been quite painful and stressful on my marriage.

It goes a little something like this...SS and DH get home. DH is on the phone apologizing to someone and goes outside. He comes in the house and I ask whats wrong. SS and a couple of other kids made fun of one of SS's really good "friends". This friend has spent the night at our house, and is a good kid. This friend's Mom refuses to take SS anymore because SS doesn't behave and is mean to her son (but they are friends?). So today they called this kid fat, told him that he was jiggly, were making fun of his "boobs", ect. This is such a sweet kid, I was sick to my stomach.

:jawdrop:

ok, so my SS is 4. he lives with BM, she does jack-shit for him. BM's mom watches him, and she babies him to death. He is STILL not potty trained, cant talk(DH and I finally enrolled him in speech therapy), and he is very stubborn with everything he eats-- all he wants to eat is crap. but i guess....

anyway, i have an almost 2 yr old BD. she is potty training already --she saw us stress it so much to SS now that hes been with us this month, that she started telling me she needed to go on her own! so im rolling with it.

I have my own opinion about this, but I was wondering what you all think about the acceptable range of behaviors in relation to age?

(warning: this post will have gross stuff in it, so prepare for TMI)

1) I think that a six year old child should be able to go to the bathroom by himself and that six is too old to not be able to wipe yourself after a no. 2!! Any thoughts on this? Am I expecting too much out of a six year old?

2) At what age is a kid supposed to be able to know the alphabet and write their own name? Approximately?

:O
Any advice on what to expect? Thanks!

In summary, DH and my relationship is as follows: