I posted gift suggestions for older adults last year but here it is again for new members.  DH87 and I 79 have all the "things" we need and, actually, we are trying to unload stuff on our poor kids, lol.  We still live independently in a middle class suburb.  I've also included suggestions other Steptalkers added last year.  Please feel free to add more.

My partner has recently decided to stop helping monitor the SK time so they don't miss their bus. They have clocks, SD has a watch and alarm goes off over an hour before bus arrives, it's too taxing to read an analog clock for them, (not sure why it matters when our oven and microwave literally provide the numerical time stamp) blah blah.... 

So today SS barely missed the bus. He was too busy messing around to give a crap til minute of. But he made it.

So I finally had a conversation with my SO about what I need in this relationship and what I envision. I do realize he's had zero and I mean zero examples of what a healthy relationship looks like. He's got plenty of childhood trauma that he knows affects him and how he "reacts" to conflict. I don't see it changing immediately overnight because he's spent years "reacting" that way (deflecting, gaslighting and blame) but I am thankful he sees it. 
 

Ours was overall outstanding.  We flew out the Friday prior to TG.  That week was the 31st anniversary of our first date.  I only know the week because it was the week before TG.  Otherwise that would be nowhere near my Man-RADAR.

I swear to God I am going to get a divorce before we become empty nesters, with the finish line just 2-1/2 yrs away, and 9yrs of step-hell will have been for nothing. 

SS18 has been at college since August. I posted about how we think he's probably going to be coming back for his HS gf, hopefully just transfering to another college, but who knows at this point. Either way, NOT living with us long-term, just for the summer at most- hopefully staying with Crazy. But I digress. 

Sooo thanksgiving was okay with my in laws . I was shocked to hear that BM decided on thanksgiving to drive into town. We met her on the way to MIL house, I asked DH if BM would be getting SD from MIL or if we needed to take her back home ( I knew SD was gonna try to stay the whole weekend since she missed her weekend) . DH didn't know so I dropped it. Over the few years since my family stopped doing holidays together due to conflict scheduling, I had to spend pretty much all the holidays with MIL and SIL which includes being around SIL drunk husband.

Well, I had a nice Thanksgiving this year -- alone. It was DH's year to have SS13. Since he wasn't able to take him on a trip earlier this year, he took him on a week-long cruise. I didn't go due to work commitments and difficulties getting a dog sitter, but, honestly, I'm happy this way. I get the house to myself. And I don't have to spend a week sharing a cabin and bathroom with a surly teen boy. Win for me!

My mom passed away.

As some of you may know if you've followed my blogs, my mother has been very ill and I've been caregiving for her full-time since March.

This doesn't even feel real. My mind body and soul feel like mush. I don't know how to go on without her.

I want to share her obituary I wrote (altered names) to give even a glimpse into the kind of person she was because I need to keep her kindness and love alive. 

"T, a pillar of kindness and generosity, passed away on 11/17/24 leaving an indelible mark on the hearts of those who knew her.

On Thanksgiving morning, of course (following the ancient BM family pattern of "Look at me" on holidays), SD called DH and told him that her adopted adolescent daughter (who is the sister of step-son-in-law) is in the hospital because she tried to commit suicide. 

A big blow up had occurred the weekend before and that is when it happened (so why didn't SD tell him on another day?)