Hello Steptalk,

In 1998 I noticed a blind spot in my L eye.  Not very big. But noticeable. I mentioned it to my Endocrinologist who gave me a referal to a retinologist.  The retinologist Dx'd it as a Cotton Wool spot, AKA a blood clot in my retina that had denied blood flow to a group of rods and cones which killed those cells leaving the blind spot.  It has improved over the years from a single noticeable sized blind spot breaking up into three very small spots as it healed.

That first happened about 10 days ago.  It took me a day+ plus of CPR to get it working again.  That only lasted about 3 days then it gave up the ghost completely.

I bought the laptop new in 2019 so rather than get a new WiFi card I got a new machine.

I picked up  a new one this AM and spent several hours getting it started up, all of the updates done, and back on line.  I had a couple of Teams interviews and had to function online with just my phone until today.

So, learning the key spacing , etc, on a different size and brand of laptop has commenced.

Dear ST, my beloved husband passed away last night after a tragic bicycle accident (no vehicles involved) on Monday. I cannot begin to describe how I feel.  I will tell you that this site gave me the tools to be with him, to handle his SDs, and to vent freely and get really good feedback. It was invaluable because it gave us 12 years together, not nearly enough.

SD19 and BM were able to say goodby to him on Wednesday. It was a very good thing and BM was nothing but gracious, helpful and supportive of me. SD19 is devestated.

I have mixed feeling about today. Last year we took MIl to breakfast with my SO family. We went to a place where it brought back memories of my Mom and I had to walk out of the restaurant and was crying . I didn't want to be there and celebrate someone else(especially since she is not really a nice person to my SO)But anyway MIL knows I don't want to go to this place. And it is a chain restaurant not some special one. I aM not going but my mixed emotions are that I am sad that MIL won't go somewhere else but I am happy I will not have to see the entitled SKs. 

I get to thinking I'm good without steptalk, maybe I delude myself. I get some moments of quiet. I think my situaton is surely different/better/superior/solved. It isn't. And I've been a crummy listener to everyone else who is reaching out here in my false superiority. For that, I apologize.

BM is dead. deadeadeadead. d. e. a. d. I shared my relief over her passing here. 

It's mothers day tomorrow. My H has taken it upon himself to call and coddle and soothe his 40 year old 'children'.

Have been MIA for a while. Just havent had a lot of time this past year so far to blog like I used to. Anyway, kind of jumping off of Morning Mia's blog..saying I am marking one year since I have been blocked on SD on social media.

Just a small example of BM not always being the problem.  My SD is in the midst of divorce with her STBX.  They do have a 50/50 schedule worked out..and they both made claims to each other they would be flexible when needed. They are doing the 2/2/3 method since they both are living close to one another and in same school district.

Also found out that BM offered SD18 and her boyfriend (who is almost 17) edibles (they are legal in our state for 21+) while they stopped over her house for SDs birthday. Apparently she had them laying out and told them they can take them. 

Trying so hard to look cool instead those kids looked at her with disgust.