Summary....

She's almost 19, acts like a 10 yo still. Didn't bathe till this morning,  wash her face or brush her teeth. I know this because the towels I left for her were untouched until this morning. The day she leaves. I told DH the reason her hair looked so dark is because it was so dirty.

She gave DH a pack of dried seaweed that he likes for his gift (suspect it was from BMs cupboard). I got nothing. She gave us a house gift of two trivets she made in high school. Which is ok but obviously out of convenience.

Apologies are hard.

DH apologized to me for all the years we went to Skidville for the holidays. We fought about it every year. I wouldn't have minded as much if they came to our house once in awhile. Last year was likely the last trip and even then I didn't have to see either skid.

I still carry anger about it. I should have refused when he could still travel by himself. But I accepted his apology and didn't dredge up the residual hurt. And I appreciate his acknowledging that he never once spent Christmas with my family, never saw my traditions.

This was something I had mentioned in a comment but thought I'd elaborate now that the day has come and gone, so might be time for an update..

I dont know why I get so nervous and anxious before having to go to MIL/ DH's aunts for Christmas Eve, knowing that its more than likely that SD was physically a no show once again as per usual.  Thats the thing, knowing that there is always a possibility that these Skids are out there and capable of turning up. Someway. Somehow. bullshit in tow.

Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah to everyone who is celebrating tonight! I hope everyone had peaceful and enjoyable day.

Things have been pleasant here. Over the past week, both my SDs have spent quite a bit of time at my house and going to various holiday events with us. I think I must have some residual holiday trauma from years past when they or BM did something to ruin holidays, because even though it's been years since that's happened, I do always feel like my subconscious is halfway expecting something crazy to go down. Thankfully it didn't and we all enjoyed ourselves.

SD shows up and instantly huggy/kisses with DH. My blood boils around that girl... disengagement continues...Then, "dad do you want to sit and talk for a bit? Do you want to go take a walk with me?" Please, let this event end like now. 

It's been pretty chill. I was exhausted yesterday, messed up the gravy, overbaked turkey by a few minutes. Not my usual standards. But veg and potatoes were good. And the champs.

YSD made her usual vegan meal, still barely any conversation out of her. She volunteers nothing. I gave up.

Merry Christmas, everyone!

DD (almost 3) opened all of her presents this morning and DH and I had a relaxing morning while she played. SS12 texted both DH and I first thing this morning saying "Merry Christmas!!!! Send me pics of DD opening her presents! Can't wait to see you all tomorrow!!!" which made my SM heart happy. BM's parents are dropping SS off here tomorrow afternoon on their way back home from BMs. I hope we have a calm, pleasant, no BM drama week with SS. 

Wishing everyone happy holidays and well wishes as we enter 2025! 

As we Finns say...Hauskaa Joulua ja onnellista uutta vuotta!

Translation... Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Thoughts for the holiday...

I was hoping he wouldn't after he told BM to figured out how SD would get to our house Sunday , Monday or today at SIL HOUSE . This whole time not a word from SD at all!!!! Well I just knew that BM would hold at because she knew DHxwould cave and get SD 15 even tho BM told DH f you, and SD has not even bothered to text or call DH. SD knows that today we got to her aunts house . Well of course DH sends SD a message and she said she wants to come but now we have to drive out of our way to meet to get her because SD is staying with BM MOM.

SD14 and DH had an argument last Friday. It was the last day of school before winter break. She woke up begging DH for "1 more hour of sleep" because she was up all night studying. Fine. An hour goes by and SD14 starts bawling her eyes out to DH of how tired she is because she was "studying". DH said she has D's and F's and can't afford to skip school. SD14 just keeps crying and he finally threw his hands up. Said she needed to call her friend to tell her she is not carpooling in the morning and also needs to call BM so she knows to pick her up from our house and not school.