Theres always some excuse

Wtf is it with guilty daddies always assuming their kids are in the right? It gets so freaking old that whenever SD does something wrong DHs automatic thought process is to come up with an excuse for it. That she must not have understood, or whatever else.

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Sigh...its tiresome

I go thru this all the time with SD58, our mini-wife. Every stupid thing she does, its somebody else's fault. Bounced a check? That stupid bank. Utility turned off? Why can't they keep their records straight. We are called to jail to bail her out. " The police made a mistake!" I could go on and on but it is so tiresome.

God, i hope it's her making

God, i hope it's her making the excuses and not your DH. After all this time surely he sees her for what she is. A skid almost old enough to collect social security still up to the same antics is a nightmare!

It's both of them

She lies and he swears to it.

Oh wow this is extreme. The

Oh wow this is extreme. The police made a mistake omg

Not extreme, its everyday here

Each of her husbands was an abuser (each is a wonderful, standup guy). Her problems are all due to BM who allowed a neighbor to sexually abuse her (BM, while stupid and crazy, would have killed anyone who harmed her child). Her school was unreasonable in their demands (required punctual attendance). Every boss she ever had showed favoritism to others. I could go on for pages and pages. Sigh....

ugh, this sounds like both my

ugh, this sounds like both my SIL and BM

Oh wow this is extreme. The

Oh wow this is extreme. The police made a mistake omg

Ugh, barf! Yep, guilty

Ugh, barf! Yep, guilty daddies would rather come up with LAME excuses/reasonings than possibly hurt their widdle precious's fee fees and teaching them to be better!

Oh i know you know what I'm

Oh i know you know what I'm talking about Simpleton! DH even admitted last night that he has an issue with that and its not parenting. Couldn't come up with a reason as to why he does it though.

It is like they only agree

It is like they only agree with you that it is a problem to appease you and act like a damn partner and then continue to do it. I for one am sick of it. I've disengaged even further from the madness.

Oh yeah? You'll have to let

Oh yeah? You'll have to let me know some details regarding this further disengagement.

Details are....I pretty much

Details are....I pretty much ignore SD when she is on her visits. I let DH handle any of her needs and I to some extent ignore him on her visits too because he is so annoying when she is there. I can't handle it. She is too desperate for attention constantly and I am not feeding into it. At 13 she knows what she is doing.

Good! I'm at the point where

Good that you're ignoring it! I'm at the point where I'm ready to just ignore DH again the whole time shes here. I did for a long time and things seemed to be better - and then he started reverting back so I guess itll be back to ignoring again

Yep, same, I ignore both of

Yep, same, I ignore both of them, I get way less annoyed that way! It is clear to EVERYONE that he is different around SD. If he doesn't want to teach her that her attention seeking is annoying and ridiculous and would rather act like he doesn't see it then so be it. I'm not exposing myself to it. I try to go do stuff and make myself scarce and I definitely do not go to any of her sports/etc.

My DH basically turns into

My DH basically turns into his mom when it comes to SD. Kinda hard to believe he really enjoys her being here if he turns into such a crabby, overdefensive jerk when shes here

After SD12 goes home we often

After SD12 goes home we often find things broken, missing, misplaced, candy wrappers stuffed in couch cushions, dirty clothes randomly stuffed under furniture. When I point stuff out my husband quickly says "it must have been...." Anyone but SD. It's so annoying. We found a girls shirt stuffed under our vanity and he insisted it must belong to his male cousin. Sure...

It's like it hurts their ego to think their previous little spawn could do wrong.

Even more annoying is that our children together that live with us full time are most likely not going to be put on a pedestal and treated to a higher standard. This is what blows my mind. How can you assume a kid you see EOWE who is raised by someone you hate could be PERFECT, but have other kids who's flaws you have no trouble seeing? This is the question I cannot figure out the answer to.

yes, this is exactly my DH.

yes, this is exactly my DH. He automatically comes up with an excuse for anything and everything. And he also has no problem actually holding the other kids to higher standards

Your kids will be better for

Your kids will be better for it. No accountability will ruin the skids.

Seeyounever, this last

Seeyounever, this last paragraph nails my feelings exactly. Plus the fact that I know DH has seen time and time again that SD is a liar and manipulator and honestly just not a child with many morals and yet he still defends her but treats the other kids differently.