Why I struggle to like my skids (VENTING)
I feel like in my heart I’m the very essence of a wicked stepmother. I hate that I feel the way I do. But I have two girls, 7 and 9, and my husband has a daughter 19, and boys 19, 17, and 13.
All the kids were raised by / are living with bio mothers. Other than the 19 year old boy who was up until he moved into the basement a year ago. He has done nothing with his life except get fired from one minimum wage job after another and get high and run around with a trashy crowd. His dad lets him use our brand new car which he has wrecked (and not paid for the damage) damaged the tires and wrecked the inside of it. His dad charges him basically next to nothing for rent and so enables the kid to keep living this lifestyle. He makes rules that he doesn’t enforce. I have to drive a 13 year old hand me down car by the way. He has a free car available at his mother’s but he won’t make the effort to go get it. His 75 year old grandfather is waking up some mornings to take him to work at McDonald’s now at 4:30 am.
His 19 year old daughter was adopted by him at age 5 and was the bio child of his second wife and has diagnosed schizophrenia. and when she was 15 was influenced by her mother (they were divorcing then) to go to the police and say that my DH had beaten her up and she was scared of him. He was arrested and removed from their marital home at the time and when the police got suspicious and started an investigation and discovered there was no physical evidence and they got a different story every time and were going to investigate the mother, suddenly they both dropped the story saying she just had an episode. Even after this, DH acted as if nothing ever happened. Now, since he married me, she has completely turned her back on him and refuses to come to holidays because she hates me (has never met me). He still sends her $150 a month for college and still buys her gifts as if nothing is wrong.
I don’t mind the other two. I’m annoyed that the 17 year old Is allowed to hang up pull up bars over the doorframes in our fine home which could literally tear down the framework. I have to be the one to make a point to say, this house is not a gymnasium. Every time the 17 year old comes over, every other weekend, he brings with him two or three friends and a girlfriend and they eat all the food in the house. He never spends time with his dad, only uses the house to spend time with his friends as girlfriend. On Christmas Day, a day that is supposed to be for family, he was allowed to let his girlfriend come over and hang out even though I said this was not an appropriate time. DH even offered to drive and pick her up. I was annoyed.
The 13 year old is a sweet boy but DH is ridiculously overprotective. He has the right to a 50/50 schedule but won’t use it, only seeing him when he is home from work because he feels like my girls are “going to overwhelm him” and he needs to make sure the boy knows he is still dad’s priority. I’m just like.....can he not just roll with the fact that his stepsisters are now part of his reality?
DH just seems so desperate to be liked by his kids it makes him do and put up with such stupid things.
Oh, and as I shared in an earlier post...I have been informed that I am putting all four of his kids on my health insurance. And we will pay “half” of out of pocket. Bullsh**. Those bills are going to be addressed to me. Good luck even dreaming sorry ass birth mothers are going to reimburse crap.
Thanks for letting me compain. I’m glad this is a place we can be honest.