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Do you provide health insurance for your skids?

bioandstep2009's picture

I was reading through another thread from last week where the poster was having an issue getting in touch with the BM over a need to change an appointment for her SD. In the thread, it was revealed that the poster covered SD's vision insurance through her job.

I'm a stepmom and my FH, DD11, SS10 and I are covered by my company's health and dental insurance. We did this because my company's plan had better access to physicians, better prescription benefits and was more economical. FH is a small business owner and he was paying a lot more for just himself and SS, and the coverage wasn't very good either. Also, FH's divorce decree states that he has to carry medical and dental insurance for SS10 and pay for any uncovered medical expenses as well.

I've never taken SS10 to the doctor, only to the dentist for routine cleanings. I leave the medical stuff to FH and BM. I feel left out but at the same time, even though I foot the bill, SS10 is not legally my responsibility nor do I have any rights. So I'm putting this out there to see what your experiences have been.

How many of you stepmoms / stepdads provide health/dental/vision benefits for your skids? Do you provide the non-insurance holding bioparent with the insurance card etc.? Have you had any issues with the arrangement? Were any of you granted authority to take your skid to the doctor /dentist and have access to your skids' medical info? Is it only in emergencies or for general office visits?

Amazed's picture

I don't cover sd under my insurance and neither does DH. That's what he pays Frizz several grand of month for,so she can have sd on her plan and leave our plans alone. Her cs is so massive that it more than covers the cost of raising one child including her healthcare,vision,dental. I will never cover her under my plan. My money goes to my kid...not someone else's and it never will. I don't care how much I love my Dh, my money isn't for a child he had with someone else...unless I get a streak of niceness in me and decide to buy her something at the store or whatever...but insurance is too expensive to go tossing it to a child who has more money in the bank from her cs than I do from my job.

"Venting without the desire to look within and improve your situation is simply venting to hear yourself bitch."

..."I'm not mean, you're just a sissy."

"If they sold clues at Walmart,I'd be first in line to get one for DH" ~the lovely Jbee~

epgr's picture

I wouldnt.. I mean if I am good enough to pay for the insurance, then I am good enough to know about the things and take them to the drs.
I take skids to all their appts, probably cuz their dad is busting his ass to support them since their mother refuses to help at all, and to lazy and doesnt care enough to take them.
Our dr has never asked me if I had permission.. she has seen first hand where sd would come from her moms with an ear infection so bad there was pus in her hair, or most recently when ss appendix ruptured and she let him sit for 2 days, even forced him to get into a pool (last summer) I met her 1/2 way and took him to ER, his dad left work and was over in time for him to go to surgery.. BM never showed until 2 days later for 10 mins, and spent the entire time talking to her sister.. that was the only time she was there in a week. So our dr knows what BM is, and does not question my authority over medical situations.

JustAnotherSM's picture

I cover my SS as well as my DH and our 2 kids on my medical and dental insurance since DH is a SAHD. And it's actually written into the most recent CO (thanks family courts!) I have provided BM with the insurance cards, but it was pretty much a nightmare getting this worked out. BM didn't want to use our insurance b/c we are primary and she is secondary (using birth date rule set by ins. co.) and our deductible is higher than hers so she doesn't want to pay out of pocket for anything. But then, she turns around and takes SS to a dentist for fillings - but she takes him to an out-of-network dentist and pays too much $ for something that is 100% covered under my insurance and expects us to pay 1/2. *SMDH*

sweetthing's picture

I know the thread you are referring to. In my sitauation I have expensive & crappy family insurance. DH & BM switch off carrying the kids. HOWEVER if I had a great insurance plan ( which I did at my last job) I would have no problem carrying my stepchildren. I also know that if I were able to step up & offer that our BM would be appreciative as would my husband.

TheWife's picture

I carry her on my insurance because the state mandates DH have insurance for her, but BM doesn't have a copy of the insurance card, and she uses the medical card for SD's healthcare. Go figure.

~*~When you kiss ass, your breath smells like sh*t~*~

TheWife's picture

First let me explain that as long as she has the medical card she will NOT EVER use my insurance because then she would have to pay the $20 co-pay. She has to pay nothing with the medical card.

If, in theory, she were to have to use my insurance, she would have to notify ME EVERYTIME she takes SD to the doctor, and I probably could get my card put on file with her pediatrician. However, my SS# is not on the card, so I might not have that big of an issue with her having a card. She doesn't have one now simply cuz she never asked.

I suggested she call her provider and ask to have her SS# removed.

But once again, BM is too cheap to use my insurance, lol.

~*~When you kiss ass, your breath smells like sh*t~*~

bioandstep2009's picture

FH told BM from the beginning of his plans to have SS covered under my insurance. We promptly gave her an insurance card once they were sent. She's SS's mother and since he does see her EOW, in the event that he needs to be taken to the doctor, she should have this information readily available. In the past, FH did not give her the information. For me, it's about being efficient (and minimizing the need for BM to have to call...LOL). Now, BM is a hypochondriac so she would take SS to the urgent care for any little thing. That I have problems with because then we get a bill for what I (and most people with common sense) consider unnecessary medical expenses. I don't like that FH (we) are on the hook for these expenses given the unnecessary urgent care visits, but I just have to suck it up and insist that FH remind BM that all non-urgent care needs to be discussed prior. But like I said, she'll take SS to urgent care because she lives so far away from us and his primary care physician, plus, it's on the weekends that she has him AND she's a hypochondriac!

TheWife's picture

There was no need to give her one. She had SD covered on her husband's insurance as WELL as the medical card from the state (by lying). We only had the insurance to cover DH's legal obligation to the state.

I am not going to voluntarily give the woman a reason to rack up medical bills in my name. Plus, like I said, she wouldn't do it anyway because even though DH is required to have insurance on SD, she did not want to be accountable for the co-pays and 50% of the out of packet costs. So when she gets in trouble for lying, that is her issue.

~*~When you kiss ass, your breath smells like sh*t~*~

Rags's picture

Yep,I have had SS and my wife on my insurance since we married with the exception of a short period when I lost my benefits due to a reduction in force when we used my Wife's insurance.

I see no issue with this. The kid needs insurance, he is my kid so I cover him under my policy. BioDad pays a slightly higher CS because we cover the Skid and he does not.

My Son (SS-17) has an insurance card in his wallet. We used to send a photo copy with him on visitations when he was younger.

BioDad tried to get the court to rule that he would cover my SS on his insurance and for us to drop SS when he was ordered to cover his other three out-of-wedlock spawn. The Judge smacked him around and told him that StepDad and BioMom had always stepped up on medical coverage for the kid and BioDad would just have to deal with it.

I would recommend covering you, spouse and (S)kids on whatever policy gives you the best coverage at the best price.

Best regards,

Success is rarely final. Failure is rarely fatal. It is character, courage and consistency of effort that count. Vince Lombardi (with some minor Rags modifications) To each according to their performance, screw Karl Marx. (Rags)

sadstepmom26's picture

My sds are on their own separate insurance. It was more expensive through our employers. We both are covered for free. Its about half the price of covering them on our plans at work. BUT the coverage is just okay. Its mainly for doctor's visits and simple stuff.

Life is what you make it.

Wicked.Step.Monster's picture

DH covers all of us under his medical/dental through his employer. SDs are also covered secondary by their SF. Then I have a vision plan covering all of us through my employer. We all trade insurance cards without a problem because even though we don't like each other, we won't do anything illegal with the other's information and we all have each other's soc sec numbers anyway so that doesn't matter to us.

I have taken SDs for many appointments and actually noone has ever questioned my authority to take them or have any of their information.

frustratedinMA's picture

My dh covers his kids on his insurance, but the BM refuses to use that, so she got insurance on them through her new dh. We are not allowed to use Dh's insurance for them (she says it causes problems for them financially.. dont know) but we do NOT have a copy of their insurance card, as her dh's SS# is on it, and its personal info. We were told to have the ER call them and get the info, should we ever have to take them. That is their call and we honor it.

Jezzabell82's picture

No i do not have SS on my insurance. His mother has 6 other kids that she has medicaid for and DH does not want SS on medicaid. He will pay cash when the child gets sick. He feels if his mother applys for medicaid for him that she will try and take SS from him. Stupid right? So SS has bad allergies teeth are turning brown and DH says that I dont care. "It's your kid get him some insurance" or i have told him to make BM do it he wont, so I'm not.

Elizabeth's picture

Our situation is kind of weird in that, during the latest court wrangling, the judge required that BOTH BM and DH carry insurance for SD16. So basically people are paying twice for the same kid? I don't really get it, but I guess it causes fewer arguments in that when BM takes SD16 to the doctor she uses her own insurance and when we take her we use DH's insurance. It's amazingly funny, however, that SD16 only manages to get sick at BM's house and never at ours! BM is always taking her to the hospital for one thing or another, it's amazing. BM was even thinking of getting SD16's tonsils taken out because she was getting strep throat "too often." OK, I didn't know once a year was too often!

dsngrl's picture

My SS has been on my insurance since we have been engaged. So, about 2 years now. BM was furious when she found out that I had taken him to the doctor recently. Sorry, but I can do anything DH lets me or needs me to do, so therefore, BM, you can f off. Doctor doesnt question anything about who I am and the front desk allows me to change or add any records I wish. I have also called in to request information on him before. I see you are very nice at letting DH and BM handle these things.. you must have a very nice BM!.. haha My DH would much rather me do it than have to call BM and deal with her. That is why I will help out when we have SS, whenever DH needs me to. When is she going to get that it is a wasted battle trying to control anything that happens on our side?

Pantera's picture

How many of you stepmoms / stepdads provide health/dental/vision benefits for your skids? I provide it for DH, SS9, and myself.

Do you provide the non-insurance holding bioparent with the insurance card etc.? NO.

Have you had any issues with the arrangement? Yes, I pay for the F****** insurance and don't get reimbursed from DH or BM.

Were any of you granted authority to take your skid to the doctor /dentist and have access to your skids' medical info? Yes.

Is it only in emergencies or for general office visits? I can take him for either.

****Funny thing is though, if I call my insurance company in regards to SS9, they always want to speak to DH because Im just the Stepmom, but the Stepmom can pay for insurance and provide it, thats fair***********

"If I turn into another, Dig me up from under what is covering the better part of me" -Incubus

bioandstep2009's picture

I go to the same shrink as SS. I write the checks, pay the bills for his visits etc. yet the girl at the front desk couldn't confirm or deny if SS had an appt. on x date. Ludicrous huh? LOL.

Pantera's picture

Ya gotta love it, lol.

"If I turn into another, Dig me up from under what is covering the better part of me" -Incubus

12yrstepmonster's picture

Both Dh and I cover skids on our insurance. DH insurance doesn't have a copay and the dollars for the doctor visit is just cash out of pocket- doesn't meet deductible. Mine has the copay. However SD is about to take a part time job with insurance. So she will lose my coverage.

kalmolil's picture

When I was working (I'm a SAHM mom for two years now), I carried everyone except DH on my insurance including SD. DH was obligated to provide insurance for her per CO and I didn't have an issue with putting her on my insurance because it was cheaper. At the time SD lived with us so we usually were the ones taking her to the doctor. DH now has her on his insurance at his job and BM has a copy of her insurance card. She's not allowed to change doctors without DH's consent but she is allowed to take SD to the doctor as she sees fit. She must pay for everything up front, then has 30 days to submit to DH (via certified mail) an official receipt reflecting her payment, and we then have 30 days to reimburse her for half of the cost. DH's CO also states that dental/vision is not required so we do not provide that for SD.