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Just wanting to vent....

tankh21's picture

BM is asking about the skids insurance cards again...The skids are on my insurance and it is through my work. The insurance card has my name on it but, apparently that isn't good enough for BM. Sorry BM you will just have to deal with it because my work isn't going to give me insurance cards with the skids names on them. My DH's insurance card has my name on it as well. She is just being herself so here we go again. It is only going to get worse since school has started today. DH goes back to picking up the skids on Thursday nights and bringing them back to BM early in the morning before the bus leaves for school on Friday morning. Last year BM tried to make DH take them to school but yet she didn't take them to school. She always wants to be difficult and make DH's life miserable. She was also complaining to DH that he isn't providing vision and dental insurance for the skids and they have upcoming appointments. Well CO says that DH only has to provide medical insurance and pay 50% of all medical expenses that BM incurs. DH has no problem paying his half for vision and dental for the skids. BM just wants to complain and take crap out on DH. Also she has the skids on her DH's medical insurance, vision and dental so what the hell is she even complaining about!!! She thinks she is miss perfect with her BMW and her BETA DH. LMAO!!! Sorry just needed to vent today.


ESMOD's picture

She may not understand that many times the insurance companies do not issue separate id's with the dependent's names. Perhaps, she would like to see something that shows her that they are indeed being covered under the policy? Maybe a printout from the online website?

I believe that even if the kids are covered under her DH's policy, that policy will ask whether there is another insurance company that ALSO covers them. I know my company asks that.

RE the dental and eye. She may have assumed that medical included dental and eye. Her DH policy may not have great coverage.

In the end... this is really stuff you don't need to get in the middle of with her. Also you don't need to assume a lot of "back story" in what she is asking for. She asks DH for the cards. You tell him your company doesn't provide dependent cards and that the one with your name is the only one. If she has misplaced that..or needs a new one, you can give him one to provide to her.

I say this because you get overly frustrated about the most minor request from her. Tell your DH to stop stoking your anger and deal with her requests himself.

secret's picture

SS is covered under my policy.

My name is on the cards, and I'm not giving one to BM.

I have a very long french hyphenated name - she only knows me by my anglicized nickname - BM's not getting a card, so that she can know my full name..I don't thiiiiink so. I don't even think BM knows SS is covered under my plan in any case.

DaniellaR's picture

The info can be given directly to the doctors office. BM tried desperately to have DH call the insurance company and give permission for them to speak to her about his policy. Uh, no. My children and I are also on his insurance. If she has an issue she can contact DH about HIS insurance. For dental, DH contacted the doctor where they are established and gave the new insurance info with a threat if they give his info out to the cow. The kids have received services without issues, the psycho doesn't even have an insurance card for them.

tankh21's picture

DH emailed her a copy of my insurance card this morning. We are not obligated to give her an actual card are we? I agree with you DaniellaR and I think BM might try to do the same. While I agree she needs to have access to the skids insurance information my DH's CO states that he has to provide BM with insurance card or any other proper forms of documentation so that she can utilize the medical insurance so one would assume that we can just give her a print out of the id # and group # and the BCBS phone # and that should be sufficient enough. I am not ordering another insurance card for her to have.

ESMOD's picture

I know some DR offices ask to see an original card. not a copy. If that is an issue, you may need to work with them directly...or provide a copy of the card.

Her having a card does not give her access to any of your information or medical records.

tankh21's picture

DH sent her a copy of his insurance card this morning so if she contact him about having problems with a doctor's office I will give her a card. This is what DH decided.

DaniellaR's picture

I have never seen a doctors office require the actual card. Our medical for the kids- we do not have an actual card and have never been denied services. We cannot get an insurance card for the kids. Dental and vision we have cards, all the offices need is the info to run the claims.

ESMOD's picture

I have actually been asked for the original card at a couple offices.. but I agree all they should need is the info.. unfortunately, some places have rules that they don't want to bend on.

Disneyfan's picture

None of the doctor offices I have been to will see you without the orginal card. A few even require a picture ID as well as the insurance card.

During one of ex and BM's court cases, the judge ordered BM to get him a cards for the girls.

Iamwoman's picture

Ugh. I also had my skids on my insurance - for about half a year. BM pulled similar crap as what you're going through, so I took them off my plan. Just not worth the headache. I'm not sure if your state has something similar, but Florida has kidcare, and any kid not on insurance qualifies at free or low cost. That type of thing might be worth looking into, because then her violating your generosity with insurance wouldn't exist.

Owning a BMW doesn't mean a thing. My first car was a BMW and it was a POS.

ESMOD's picture

If his CO stipulates that he provide insurance for his kids then it's possible that the OP's insurance is cheaper/better than what he could provide so by her having them on her plan... it is fulfilling his requirements according to the CO.

I also covered my SD's. Much cheaper in my large corporation plan than it would have been for him as a self employed person.

tankh21's picture

Thanks you ESMOD you are correct. My DH's insurance plan at his work would cost at least $700 for him and both skids where mine is $230 a paycheck for all four of us on one insurance plan.

tankh21's picture

I was just being a smarta** about the BMV. CO says that DH has to have the skids on medical insurance until the skids are turn 18 or graduate from HS otherwise he would have to pay BM an extra $400 a month for medical support and god know what she would do with that money. The reason the skids are on my insurance is because it's a PPO plan and DH's work only offer an HMO plan which would cost him $700 for him and both skids. I know that DH didn't twist my arm to put his kids on my insurance. That is not my issue my issue is that BM needs to stop complaining about every little thing. DH is following the CO and that is all.

thinkthrice's picture

BETA as opposed to ALPHA, I would assume the average P-whipped stepdaddykins. There's this guy on FB who used to be my co worker at my old job. Same ol' scenario--no kids of his own, married to a PASINATOR CP GUBM. He was the one who told me that he 'told off' biodad and SM saying that the skids shouldn't have to do chores on visitation because it was just that: VISITATION and that they already do chores at THEIR house.

He is CONSTANTLY on FB lecturing men on how to suck up to their GUBM wives. :sick: :sick: :sick:

tankh21's picture

Yes thinkthrice is correct that is exactly what a BETA DH. You forgot to add that the BETHA DH thinks the GUBM can do no wrong and that the bio-dad is the bad parent and the GUBM is the victim of everything.