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Just curious....

tankh21's picture

Is it normal for teenagers not to care about their NCP and not take the time to even wish them Happy Father's Day or Happy Birthday etc? I am just curious if they just don't give a crap or if it's the way they are raised. I hear the skids talk about how they celebrated BM's birthday or what they got her for her birthday and my DH doesn't even get a Happy Father's Day or Happy Birthday. Maybe this is a PAS thing?


tog redux's picture

No, it's not normal, and yes, in many cases it's a PAS thing. They've been conditioned to think that BM is the only REAL parent.

tankh21's picture

Yes...this is what I was thinking as well. But I mean why should I even care I mean I feel bad for my DH but then again he is a disney dad. He could be trying to teach basic life skills, proper etiquette and boundaries but he doesn't. I used to care how the skids turned out and how they treated my DH but I really don't care anymore because what is the point....

StrawberryPie's picture

I would love to know the answer to this because the same thing happens here. And it blows my mind.

Ursula's picture

I think in many cases the kids feel the need to protect their mother and in doing that end up rejecting their father in some ways.  The mom may make the kids feel bad for spending time with dad because she misses them so much.  I do think it's PAS.

tankh21's picture

Their mother is an ex stripper that my DH knocked up on a one night stand and he ended up staying with her for 12 years "because of the kids" LOL. She is a nut job still to this day tries to make his life miserable because she's pissed because he left so so yes this is her way of punishing him I guess.

SteppedOff's picture

They are parented to believe Mom is the only REAL parent. 

As in my case, even after good ol’ mom passes the dysfunction continues . I see it with 30’s to 40 year old. Accckkkk the sickness of it all. So very sad.

SteppedOut's picture

My formerSO's kid that LIVED WITH HIM FULL TIME ignored his dad's birthday and father's day (never worried about Christmas presents either). He rarely saw bm, but damn sure he worried about her bday, mother's day and christmas presents! His daughter that lived with bm also ignored him (unless she needed something). 


Maxwell09's picture

Depends because my SS's BM is the ncp and SS cares about her as much as a self absorbed child can.

SMto2's picture

I don't think it's normal, and it's almost always a PAS thing in not wanting BM to feel anything less that the ONLY parent. Even my oldest SS who texted my DH for Father's Day only sent a video of SGDs and never said "Happy Father's Day" himself, which I think is weird. He posted nothing on FB, even though on Mother's Day (even before BM was on FB, which is recent) he has always posted how BM and HER BM are the best moms in the world.  I find it sad and disturbing. 

Cover1W's picture

PAS.  Once OSD left our home she's not once noted DH's birthday, Father's Day, or any holiday.  Not one.  Three years.

StrawberryPie's picture

That's awful. These kids. I cant believe they feel it's okay to treat their parents like they dont exist.  It disgusts me.