You are here

Anyone else have a BM like this or are we hogging the craziness?

MadeMyBed's picture

So long story short: BM has physical custody, DH has joint legal and DH pays CS and health and dental insurance.

A few years ago, DH changed jobs and got a different insurance through his new company. Oh, I guess its time for a disclaimer: DH ALWAYS pays his child support, its comes out of his paycheck. He also provides health and dental insurance for his two kids per agreements.

So for some reason health and dental insurance really confuses BM. She wants the skids to go to a certain dentist- whoops he doesnt take our insurance! Happens, right? What do normal people do? Find one who does! Nope, she drags them there, against DH's protests that they wont be covered, and then accuses him of being a deadbeat and not caring about his kids.......wha????

She blew off a dentist doing this already (never paid the bills and DH refused to) and now she is pulling this with an orthodontist which is not cheap. I swear, this woman is the stupidest person alive.

All of a sudden it is an EMERGENCY that SS10 gets braces. IT HAS TO BE DONE NOW AND HERE IS THE ONLY DR WHO CAN DO IT! Another disclaimer: BM lives in a major metro area and has plenty of options. DH looks it up, guess what? This "special" orthodontist does NOT take our insurance of course. Basically it would be at least $1000 more to use him. DH goes onto our insurance site and finds 25 orthodontists within 10 miles of BM's house who take our insurance- duh!

So he relays this information. What does she do? Calls him crazy, a deadbeat, shes tired of dealing with him, pay what he wants because he never pays anything, everyone is better off without him anyway. Wha?????

Is this rocket science? This is a woman with a pretty important job. God help that company! Why doesnt she understand? This should be simple, right? Pick a doctor/dentist/whatever in the network! Its less $$ for everyone since they both have to split the costs! what a moron.........anything for drama

SusiQ's picture

Ours is the same way - She would take SD to the doctor and not even use the insurance so DH wouldn't know what was going on. One time we actually got an EOB because she had to take her to the emergency room. She tells SS who is 22 to go wherever he wants and then he asks us for money because it cost so much. We've told him time and time again to use the insurance and we would help out with the overage but he still won't do it - it's too inconvenient. That's ok - he's the responsible partt and he has to pay his own bills.

DaizyDuke's picture

If this BM has a pretty important job why the heck doesn't she have her own insurance for her kids? She must have insurance so why can't she use hers as secondary to cover what your DH's insurance won't pay??

MadeMyBed's picture

well, in the divorce decree DH is responsible for the insurances. BM is supposed to let us know if she can get it cheaper- BWAHA HA HAHA! Just TRY and get her to even understand this!

SillyGilly's picture

"what a moron....anything for drama."

****************************************
yes! I think BM's are addicted to drama. At least ours is. It will completely come out of no where about nothing, it's unpredictable and insane. Who has the time/energy to come up with this stuff? if only it was redirected positively towards the kids - they would greatly benefit. It's an addiction i tell ya!

MadeMyBed's picture

what drives me crazy is this whole "deadbeat" thing. I told DH to stop paying child support and insurance just so she has to come up with something different, lol. Seriously if you are calling someone a "deadbeat" who actually pays what do you call them when they dont. I'd love to say to her "if we're not needed in your life I guess you dont need our financial help either". yeah, right

karenemoy's picture

Same issue here - told 1000 times only doctors in network- so what she do - gets a therapist for SS out of network and had the nerve to ask DH to spilt. He said no - could not recoup any costs since deductible not met.

TOO BAD - LOSER. Network had 500 therapists listed.

skylarksms's picture

Our BM isn't stupid. She purposely will go to out of network providers so it costs more.

Even if it costs HER bad.