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Summer Anxiety

bioandstep2009's picture

I really dread this summer... SS10 will be spending his whole summer at BM's house for the first time ever. We will see him every other weekend (EOWE). Now, the divorce decree says that each parent is entitled to 4 continuous weeks with SS, but it also says 50/50 rotating custody which BM has never ever done. What it ought to say is that DH has primary residential custody with BM getting visitation EOWE because that's been the reality for the past 5 years, the EOWE at BM's only for the past year or so.

Ever since the EOWE visitation began more than a year ago, SS has had even more behavioral issues. Things have gotten a little better recently but we are constantly having to de-program him from the 24/7 entertainment, spoiling and overall immense feelings of entitlement, all of which stems from how BM and her husband run their household (BM has 3 skids over there full time as well).

Although we will see SS EOWE for this summer, I dread the kid who will come back to us full time once school resumes this fall. It's taken alot of work and effort on DH's and my part to fix his attitude and overall self-centered ways, bratty, mannerless and ungrateful behavior and I worry that it will ALL be undone over the summer. I already have alot of issues with SS with the behavior he has exhibited over the past 3 years and the things that he still does to this day. I know it makes no sense to worry about the what-ifs but I can't help but feel anxious and sad over the quality of our lives at home once he returns to us full time i.e. will we have to start all over again and work even harder to undo the damage? Just thinking about that possibility makes me exhausted.

Greenfig's picture

I feel your pain. The skid here spent 10 days with BM and came back 4 years regressed in age. :O