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How does mediation work???

Sweet T's picture

Submitted by Sweet T on Mon, 10/24/2016 - 8:32am

I am pretty sure that we are going to end up in mediation. I have never been, how does it work. Are you both in the room? Do you get to meet individually with the mediator? Am I allowed to bring in all the nasty emails he send me?

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Sweet T's picture

Submitted by Sweet T on Mon, 10/24/2016 - 8:37am

I have a letter from the therapist stating that too. I am hoping to be able to show that he uses any contact as an opportunity to abuse me.

I know he loves BS9 but he is so toxic. Everything he does is for show and how he looks on the outside to others.

silversong's picture

Submitted by silversong on Mon, 10/24/2016 - 8:46am

Not sure if it varies by state but my DH recently went to mediation with BM because in my state they apparently require you to attempt mediation at your "pre-trial" before appearing in front of a judge. According to him the mediator was not interested in things like nasty emails/texts, stories of past "he/she did this bad thing", and would respond to such topics like "we don't need to bring that up now."

The mediator's goal was to help DH and BM come up with a custody/support agreement and keep them out of trial. So he did whatever was necessary to facilitate that. Hope this helps.

uofarkchick's picture

Submitted by uofarkchick on Mon, 10/24/2016 - 8:53am

If there is a history of abuse, you can ask to be put in a separate room. A good mediator will spot someone trying to dominate negotiations and put a stop to it.

Sweet T's picture

Submitted by Sweet T on Mon, 10/24/2016 - 10:58am

Mediation is going to be a waste because I will not be giving into what he wants. I have not given in for almost 3 years as he has tried to bully me into it. The therapist wrote a letter stating she did not believe it was in BS's interest to spend more time with hi and has urged me not to give in to him. If a judge rules it so be in, but I am not giving him the opportunity to screw up our child more than he does.

Sweet T's picture

Submitted by Sweet T on Mon, 10/24/2016 - 10:58am

Mediation is going to be a waste because I will not be giving into what he wants. I have not given in for almost 3 years as he has tried to bully me into it. The therapist wrote a letter stating she did not believe it was in BS's interest to spend more time with hi and has urged me not to give in to him. If a judge rules it so be in, but I am not giving him the opportunity to screw up our child more than he does.

Sweet T's picture

Submitted by Sweet T on Mon, 10/24/2016 - 11:46am

state law says we have to do mediation first. Pretty sure it will be a sh$t show, but what he is suggesting is nuts. I have held my tongue for years about what he does but I have saved and documented everything.