Need mom advice
So BS is 10 and is in 5th grade. Very smart just got report card yesterday...awesome grades. Here is our issue he is struggling with organization. If they are missing work they have to email their parents. The last few weeks he has had issues forgetting to being things home.
I have emailed teacher back asking about when they are organizing homework ect... gym is the last class before they leave I think the kid is all worked up and goofy when they get back to class and this is when it is happening. I asked about meeting with her to discuss and she has not gotten back to me.
My ex is all over my a$$ about this. He doesn't think we need to meet with the teache4 bs should have a notebook write it down bring it home...simple. I said they have a planner they write it down but some how hee is not bringing it home. WTF, I am not there. He does bring home homework and does it and does it right away and well but some things he is not bringing home.
Today he lost a picture that they are supposed to use in a story and had to email us. Again I asked teacher for more info on how his classroom work is organized and how do other students do theirs.
Any suggestions on things that work with your kids. He is the youngest boy in his class but is chatty, silly and super smart.
- Sweet T's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
I bought a folder...He left
I bought a folder...He left it at school...argh.
It had better be in the back pack today.
Sadly you need to leave this
Sadly you need to leave this alone. Hand over the emails to his dad and tell him "You refused to do this my way so you handle it. Have fun."
It isn't the teachers job, I
It isn't the teachers job, I am asking her for more information on what goes on in class and how other kids that are successful manage it.
I feel like the only way I can help him correct his process is to know what the process is. She is there I am not so I just need some feed back.
His dad made a huge deal over
His dad made a huge deal over it insisted he bring his homework there over the weekend. He made him do 1 page out of a 10 page packet...but he made it sound to the teacher like he took care of it. No, I had to make sure it did.
4
I am not That kind of mom, I want to help my kid figure out how to be organized and be successful not argue with his asshole dad or be put down by him either.
It's actually really common
It's actually really common for really bright kids to have organizational issues. There's a book, Smart But Scattered (https://smile.amazon.com/Smart-but-Scattered-Revolutionary-Executive-ebo...) that focuses on "executive" functioning for kids that might be worth a read for you.
I find that often there's not a lot of guidance for kids on how to be organized, so they struggle. My DD is a weirdo, in this regard. She's hyper vigilant about *everything,* but the way she does it makes it look like she's not. Papers are often wadded up or bent, her handwriting is terrible, and she gets flustered easily, but she's on top of everything. 5th grade was rough for us with that because her teacher wanted to teach her to do better, but didn't try to teach her better, he just expected her to do better.
If he's not using a planner, that may be a good place to start. The physical writing down of the to-dos can help trigger memory. And you could ask that the teacher sign off on it each day, if you think that might help. But ultimately, he's going to have to want to be better organized for it to stick.
Thank you, I will read
Thank you, I will read this... his dad goes back and forth with telling me to punish him or not punish him.
For example I took away electronics when this first happened, his dad just blistered at us, did nothing in his home lots of videogaming.
I had emailed ex yesterday about a baseball clinic I wanted to sign bs up for so he could get some winter exercise burn off energy but ex would need to take him to it on two ssundays at 3pm...He doesn't have to pay ect...He said no because he doesn't think bs deserves it because of this issue. Again the kids grades are great.
Like I said I want to find out where the break down is happening and fix it by showing son what he should be doing.
I used that parenting through
I used that parenting through live and logic with doing his homework several years ago because I do agree with consequences being the best motivator.
I am coming at this from it something I am going through with project management at my new job.
My thought was know where the breakdown is help him figure out a way to manage it and then let the consequences fall where they may.
He is a good and smart kid, not a bratty cod. Last night at dinner he wanted to discuss JFKs assassination. They are not studying it in school it was just something he thought about and wanted to talk about. He turned 10 in july.
One folder, a "To Do" side
One folder, a "To Do" side and a "Done Side" for all homework. Sometimes the trick to organization is to keep it as simple and functional as possible. I would also ask the teacher to start initialing his agenda attesting to the fact she checked his homework folder and has all the necessary content for the night-just until it becomes a routine. It shouldn't be that hard.
I hate punishing my son.
I hate punishing my son. Honestly it hurts me more than it does him... Its not just me saying that. However, there were times when I had to discipline him to get the results I wanted.
The one time I had to do this I think he was around 7. My son, like yours could be scatter brained! He is a clever, sociable and friendly kid too. He also was forgetting or losing things at school. He was 7 so if you do this you may need to try different things to trade, but it worked for me.
He wears a uniform to school and went to after care at school. The children would do their homework, have a snack and play. My son would take off his jersey or his socks and shoes. He would forget to put it in his school bag. Or when I arrived to fetch him, it looked like his school bag exploded! These kids would just toss their stuff all over the place. Bags and clothes and stuff lying all over the place!! Suffice is to say he would often be missing items. It meant he needed double EVERYTHING so he could go to school properly dressed and I would need to go to "lost and found" the next day to get what he left behind. At one stage it became a daily occurrence and I was very frustrated!!
I had a nice chat to him - explained how his life was going to be. I asked him to fetch his favorite toys. He could select ONE item: Lego. I took the rest!! All of it. Every day he came home without forgetting things he could have ONE toy back. If he forget anything, I took ALL of the toys that he had. When he had no toys, he could read his books or play with Lego. On days he forgot things, he could not go play with his friend. This taught him that HE - at 7 - was responsible for his own stuff. If he did not co-operate and bring his things home, I took his toys! All of them. This pattern went on for about two months. I never had a problem with him afterwards. He brought home all his clothes and items and his bag no longer longer looked like it exploded.
You may want to improvise on this. Your son needs to know that their are real consequences and he is inconvenienced or suffering because he is being scatter brained.
I think he might have to try
I think he might have to try a few techniques to find what works for him. Maybe make this a project you work together with him on. Talking about and trying new methods of organization.
You can teach him skills, but I imagine that the real challenge is responsibility at the right time/remembering. So engaging his curiosity might do the trick.
WIth sd if she left her
WIth sd if she left her homework at school I would make her do 2 pages from a workbook for each piece of homework she forgot. Then if she did not bring her homework home the next night, she did 4 pages, then adding 2 pages per night until she brought it home. She usually remembered her planner but when she didn’t the teacher had uploaded what homework there was online so we could check the school website to see what she was supposed to be doing.
Sweet T - are you having a
Sweet T - are you having a mini Deigma in your house....
I did the special folder, I did the everything you get in class, put it in the folder, letters, notes, what ever....
I did the year planner - nothing worked cause his mind was full of other crap..
then I started, every day after school, we will sit together and go through all his books for the day, Planner right next to us,
I would say - I do not see any maths homework in your planner and yet your work in your book is un complete.. OH sorry mum I forgot to write it down.... but at least we got his homework done lol..
The older he got the less I checked, the last time he forgot .. project that needed to be in with 2 week notice, the night before he came to me and told me, it has to be in tomorrow I forgot to tell you, I simply replied it's not my problem, and I send him off to bed, sorry dude it's bed time you can get a zero for all I care, he did get a zero for the project and had to study harder to pass the subject, but he never forgot again