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CS agency frustration

Sweet T's picture

So I am the BM in this circumstance( former step mom for newcomers). When we initially divorced I let my ex convince me to not go through the state for cs management but pay directly like he did weith bm1. He is high conflict  and a couple years in after I had pointed out to him that my costs to insure bs went from 25.00 A month to 300.00 that we needed to review. He refused so I went through the state...I had covered the costs for 2 years before requesting a review.


So this summer I contacted them to let them know that we needed to restate daycare for the summer...He pays 115.00 A month when there is daycare. It costs me close to 500.00 A he gets off easy. 

I realized last week that they were still icluding it and contacted them via email. We have a new case worker and she was well it is your responsibility to tell us to stop...I am sorry but I was not told that and figured my original message asking it to be reinstated June to August should have covered it.


Has anyone else had this experience ex is going to be pissed . He owes mne more than that in med expenses...but I need to get those in to the state as well.

I asked how they will refund him as I don't think he real7zed it...but when he does I am sure he will think I was cheati g him....argh!!!!!



twoviewpoints's picture

Yeah, it's is up to you to notify of changes. Even with the original request of reinstating summer daycare, they are entering on programed computer data. It isn't set up for a side note such as 'stop daycare end of August'.

The caseworker has to make the change and the odds of her remembering each and every individual letter from cases she has , well, she's human. 

You ex has no business being angry over a simple mistake. You truly believed you had performed what was necessary and June-August was being raised only. 

Yeah, he'll grumble, but your ex grumbles over every dime. I remember when he thought he'd take over the health insurance, lol. 

If he isn't credited for the extra $115 or can't be refunded in cash (which most are not set up to do), perhaps you can show him where you will take out/give him credit for already paying towards part of the medical you're about to submit.

Did you save a copy of your letter of request asking for daycare $115 for solely June-August? If so, send hm a copy. You asked for only the summer months. If he throws his usual temper hissy, ignore him. You do not have to listen to it. You're getting it fixed. Give an apology if he acts like a grown up who realizes computer programs can only do what they are programed to do. 

It's not like you're one of the greedy CP's who tries to screw their ex through CS. It was an accident. It's fixed. He'll live. 

Don't sweat it. It will be fixed. 

Sweet T's picture

Thanks, I just wish she would have said that in our earlier communication.


I will see how she replied back regarding repayment.


I have had very little contact with him and that is how I like it. School conferences are coming up so that is more than enough contact for me...luckily BS  has straight As so far so that should be easy. 

qtpie013178's picture

They should annualize the cost so you don’t need constant adjustments. In other words, take the cost of summer daycare and divide it by 12, so you can have a consistent payment and just set it aside until summer.