There is a LOT to my decision. I have been thinking it over for awhile now. A few weeks ago, he told me he has been thinking about ring shopping and when he said that, it kind of set alarm bells off in my head like "Do I really want this?"
A little background info: SO and I have been together for about a year and a half. I have BS2 (not SO's) and SO has SS3 and SS5. We recently moved in to a new house together. Technically he bought it but my name is on the deed also. We have lived together since October.
Here are my reasons for wanting to break up:
1. Although he is a great guy, very kind, very unselfish, very giving, would bend over backwards for me, I feel very smothered. I am not an affectionate person and I don't need to cuddle all the time but he is always in my face telling me how beautiful I am and how much he loves me. It's all fine but I just feel like it's insincere, like he is saying what he thinks he needs to say to play the 'perfect boyfriend'. Make sense? Not really but that's how I feel.
2. He is horrible with his money. He works construction and because of the weather, he hasn't been working much. So because of that, he can hardly help with bills. Not a big deal because I can afford it but BARELY. And just this week the bank threatened to repo his car because he is so behind (which I didn't know because I didn't know what he was doing with his own money)and he asked me for money and I said NO. It is not my fault that you can't control your spending. Maybe you should have thought about it before buying a bunch of new clothes.
3. THE STEPPARENTING THING. I can't stand his kids. Like literally cannot stand their faces. They are rude, disgusting little pigs. They are taking over my life and our house. Leaving their shit all over, their dirty underwear, cups, dishes. And yes it's SO's fault. SO doesn't pick up after them. I leave these things laying around and I tell SO that I am NOT picking up after his kids.
Damnit I signed up for 1 child (my own) and I have made DAMN sure I have only ever had one. I do not want 2 more in my life wreaking havoc on me and my son. I am not a stepparent. Plain and simple. I was not cut out for this and i have made the decision to take back my happiness and NOT spend 2 weeks out of the month miserable and tense. Plus SO is a shitty parent. Lazy as fuck. He lets his kids mouth off and be bullies to my son. My son doesn't need that. They are gross because my SO doesn't make them brush their teeth or wash their hands. He is a lazy lazy parent.

4. He has a small penis. I mean small. Like tiny. And he is a minute man. Ain't no one got time for that. i am not even attracted to him any more. That's probably the biggest reason. I just kind of lost it for him. It may be the whole parenting thing and I don't respect him but I definitely do NOT find him attractive anymore.

This past weekend, we got into a huge fight because I went to dinner with a couple girlfriends and SO got super insecure and jealous that I didn't want to spend time with him. Proceeded to yell at me and told me I'm a liar and I was lying about where I was and I'm turning into a cheater. (UM WHAT). This behavior came out of nowhere and I basically told him to fuck off. NOBODY talks to me with such disrespect. After the fight, I got to thinking that this behavior seems like it could become controlling later on. It's just a weird feeling I have.

So today I called my old landlord of the apartment I just moved out of in December and she said they have not rented out my apartment yet so i can move back in. I think that's a sign?

These are all major issues that I am just not ready to deal with. I used to think he is worth it and I could work through my hostile feelings about his kids but I am facing reality: IMO he's just not worth it. There will be other guys out there WITHOUT kids that will treat me wonderfully.
YIPPEE FOR SKID FREE!
I think I'll sit down with him NEXT weekend when we have no kids and break the news that I'm moving out. I'll spend Friday packing and move out over the weekend.

I'm excited to get back into my own routine with my son and be more focused on him than being pissed off about skids being there and worrying about everything else.