Ding, dong, the witch is gone! For real this time.
The skids have all said they are done. They have had enough. They cannot put up with the BS their mother gives them anymore.
1. Loca and her husband went out to see Lazy Boye 19 graduate from the Marines. She had the greatest opportunity to see him and show her support for him and his efforts. Loghead and I gave her a 24 hour opportunity to take him to a local tourist attraction and hang out at the beach and her hotel. They did go to the tourist attraction for just a few hours and went to dinner. They stuck him with the bill at a fancy restaurant, after all ordering lobster and drinks and desert. And then she spent the next few hours driving around, looking for pot. That's when Lazy Boye had them bring him back to our hotel.
A few days later, back in our state, she was bugging him about visiting her. he told her couldn't see her right now if that's the behavior she chooses. He told her that she ruined what could have been one of her greatest mom moments by putting her own selfish needs first- searching for pot. he told her that her actions disrespected him and his choice to become a Marine. The drill sergaents had talked to the parents for 2 days about helping the new Marine make good choices, stay safe and out of trouble with the law while on leave and she drove around searching for pot, finding it and lighting up in front of him, less than 10 hours after he'd graduated. In the Marine base town, it was obvious to tell the new grads from civilians and if theyd been pulled over, he could have been in serious trouble.
He told her he would not see her again, that he did not want to talk to her again, until she could get her life together.
2. PITA 20 and Loca had a fight in early August. He was moving to a new town, 15 minutes from where she lives. He'd already asked us to pay many of his deposits for the apartment and college fees. He broke down and asked her for $50 dollars for some deposit he needed. He told her he'd already bled us dry, and he could really use her help. She refused. "You never visit me, you never call, why should I do anything for you?" she asked him. "Because you're my mom. For once, step up." He asked her to rethink her answer and he'd check with her a few days later. A few days later, she told him she'd pay whatever he wanted, as long as he moved in with her! He said thanks but no thanks. And then thanked her for showing her true colors, that her thinking on motherhood was only doing something if she got something in return. He told her he did not want to see her for awhile.
3. Princess was diagnosed with mental illness- thank you, Loca. At the enouragement of her therapist, she finally met with Loca this summer and had a real heart to heart . Told Loca it physically made her sick to be with her at Lazy Boye's hs graduation. That she felt all of her stuggles and insecurities came from the lack of support she receieved from Loca while she was growing up... And countless other things Princess put on the table. Loca denied all of it, of course. Princess told Loca that until BOTH of them can heal, she does not want any contact with Loca.
So all three kids turned her away. Ouch. Really, my heart does break for her, but she did it to herself...
And of course, I have nasty vociemail messages from her. Which was weird, since 5 days before she'd been gushing at his Marine graduation about how wonderful I was and how lucky she was that I was so willing to keep an open door between us all these years. But my last message from her told me that I would burn in hell for all the evil I have done to her over the years. That Loghead and I poisoned the skids against her, adn that I finally "won." That she didn't want or need them anymore. She was cancelling her phone plan and changing her number, that she was removing them from her insurance, that she was burning anything and everything that reminded her of them, and that if they ever set foot on her propery again, she and her husband would have them arrested.
Lazy Boye told the other skids his beef with their mother, adn they all agreed he did the right thing, and they all blocked her number on their phones and blocked her on Facebook.
I discovered from a mutual acquaintance that she threatened suicide and her husband took her to the big city and had her placed in a hopital for a few days.
All of the skids are being careful with this info. They do wonder if it is just another of her stories to guilt them into apologizing. They have agreed to leave her alone for the time being...
So it's done. For now.
And my heart breaks for those kids. And I have to pick up all their shattered pieces. But they came to the decision all on their own, individally. And I am so proud of them.
And for now, it means I get to be done with her for now too, so I guess I do WIN.