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And the Worst Mother of the Year award goes to...

Last-Wife's picture

Loca Grande! That woman is so unbelievable! I am sorry my skids have to call her mom...

To update- on Mother's Day weekend, the skids were at her house. Princess 18, being the only girl, has her own room, and was doing some cleaning. She found a stash of pot under her bed. Knowing it wasn't hers, she confronted her mother. Loca Grande denied to at first, but finally fessed up that, yea, when she's thinking about how sh$&&y her life has become, she sits in Princess's room and smokes pot... Nice.

So Princess tells me and Loghead about it, because she is afraid of what would happen in her brothers ever found it, or if Loca Grande would care for them while under the influence. She did tell her mother she wasn't ever setting foot back in that house as long as it was there...

We kinda swept things under rug, since graduation was the next week. Two days after graduation, Loghead talks to Gullible, a police officer AND Loca Grande's husband. He says he knows nothing about it, but will check into...

Less than 10 minutes later, Loca Grande calls up Princess and says she can't trust her and never wants to talk to her again. Princess tells her that's fine, as she'll be starting college soon and is ready to start a new life anyway, and doesn't want to waste time associating with lying losers and users anyway... (Good for Princess.)

Jump to now, three weeks later. Loca Grande calls Monday in tears, saying she wants to make things better with Princess. She wants Princess to meet her for lunch, near where she lives, an hour from where we are. Loghead and I try to convince her that if her mother really wants to patch things up, she should come here... Princess just wants her mom's love and approval, so she runs to her anyway.

Not sure on all the details. I know they met at 12:30 for lunch. At 2:00, I get a phone call from Loca Grande, I figure it's her asking if Princess could stay. Instead, before I can even say hello, she's yelling in the phone at me, through tears, that I can "have 'em. If she thinks your a better mother and role model than I am. You can have her, and raise the boys. She said I never was her mother, you were and that you were the only one who raised her. Fine, you be the mother. You pay the bills and take care of the them. I'm dropping them from my insurance, and I'm not paying another penny!"

And she hung up. WTH!

So I call Loghead, who's at his temp job, three hours away. He said Princess had already called him, upset because Loca Grande had told her she never wanted to see her again, how could she betray her own mother, didn't she understand a little pot now and then was no big deal, don't be a baby, fine, I'm not your mom any more...

WTH. What kind of person- sane or insane- says these things to an 18 year child? Or a child of any age?

Later in the day, Princess sent me a text saying she loved me, even though she doesn't always show it and she will try harder to be a good daughter to me. "You're the only mom I've got now."

I asked her to come home so we could talk and snuggle, but she had met up with her boyfriend. Long story short, she made herself physically sick from worry. So the boyfriend's mom called and asked if she could stay there, especially since the tornado sirens had gone off a few times last night. AS much as I hate her staying there, since the mother had been the one to call, I agreed...

My heart just breaks for all the bulls%^& this woman has put her through... And I feel like some of it is my fault. Loca Grande had pretty much written off the kids after Loghead was granted custody, and she just had visitations. She hardly ever saw the kids, and they were only 2,3 and 5. She came around a few times when she'd heard Loghead was dating... I made the mistake after we were married of inviting her to things, and sending pictures and letters, making them call her once a week, thinking it would be best for the skids in the long run...

Damn, I should have just left it alone... How was I supposed to know that 13 years ago? The woman is crazy, she's turned on her own parents and siblings, how did I not expect that one day, she would turn on her own children?


bjmoore17's picture

OMG, I feel I am in for a big awakening in a few years when my boyfriend's kids are teenagers. Their mother is psycho. She is a lot like what you are dealing with. She has been in drug rehab twice and gets back out each time to only do the same thing again. She tells the kids things about their father so they won't want to come see him or even sit with us at ball games. But, when she wants to get rid of them for the weekend, she promises to buy them things so they will go with their dad. The kids were discussing what they were going to get and we heard them and they told us that she promised them a surprise if they went with their dad. The 6 year old said, "I'm trying to think of something that I don't have at Wal Mart" Ok, he has everything because he cries for it and gets it EVERY time from her. If he stomps his feet and cries really loud, he gets what he wants. We don't give in and that's really why they don't like to come with us. When we say no, that's what we mean. Sort of irrelevant to the original post, but at least its out there and off my chest }:)

SteppingUp's picture

People like Loca Grande seem to have the world against them at all times, never taking responsibility because they will always play the victim. Your step daughter has a great head on her shoulders and you should be extremely proud of her, and yourself! SD seems to be able to look at things through a very realistic perspective, and seems very thankful to you that you have always been there for her in a way her mother never has. Although incredibly sad, it looks like you have done what you have always thought was the RIGHT thing to do...don't beat yourself up over trying to do that when it didn't turn out the way you hoped it would with BM. This gives me inspiration that as long as me and my guy continue to be loving and caring parents and role models for the skids, they may model off of us rather than their BM.

Last-Wife's picture

Thank you for your kind words. It made me tear up. It's nice to be acknowledged for the hard work I've put in. Thanks!

I am confused's picture

Extra cushy chair waiting for you in heaven. You tried to include the BM, which was fantastic, and now you're cleaning up her messes, also admirable.

the best part of this story, that wasn't much touched on, is that if your SD can confront her BM about drug abuse and clearly inform her that it's not acceptable to her and that if she can't quit SD will move on and be productive in her life without BM, you clearly raised a good kid, even without the benefit of the biological tie.

Great story.

Last-Wife's picture

Well, all 18 year old girls have their moments, but for the most part, she's a pretty good girl

onlinehome143's picture

I don't believe that there was a worse mother in earth. In this case, i think there are such a something wrong with this mother. I believe in the end of the day, mother is still a mother..

- Marian (drug rehab)

wriggsy's picture

Sometimes, I WISH that DH's ExW did drugs...then we would have a valid reason for her behavior....

Sorry...had to throw in a funny....

Keep your chin up...sounds like you are doing a wonderful job!!!